Don't Make Me Play That Grandma Song Again

Allow me to introduce myself
I'm Elwood, the midnight DJ
On radio station K-HICK
Now I try to run a quality show
And all my fans'll tell you so
Except at Christmas, much to my dismay

Oh no, don't make me play that "Grandma" song again
Though that request line glows and glows
Just as bright as Rudolph's nose
I'll do anything you say, I'll play them barking dogs all day
But please don't make me play that "Grandma" song again

Now every Christmas, I get frosted
When poor Grandma gets accosted
And all them weirdos enjoy her suffering
And that Elmo guy just keeps on smiling
While them royalties keep on piling
And the worst part is, he can't even sing

Oh no, don't make me play that "Grandma" song again
Though that request line glows and glows
Just as bright as Rudolph's nose
I'll do anything you say, I'll play them barking dogs all day
But please don't make me play that "Grandma" song again

Now a word from our sponsor
Friends, it's that time of year again that
just makes you want to get out there and charge
And while you're doing it, why not have playing in the background
Our collector's gift set of 24 of the
most beloved Christmas carols of all time?
Classics like "You Bumped Your Noggin on My Toboggan"
Or "Hey, Hey, Grandpa's Got a Brand New Nag"
To order now, dial 1-900-FRUITCAKE
And now back to you, Elwood

Thanks, Elmer
So anyhoo, I told the station manager
he'd have to choose between me and her
'Cause that "Grandma" song is a moral ab-domination
So he says, "Son, our ratings are flyin'
And furthermore, our sponsors are buyin'
And I'm transferrin' you to the FM classical station"

Oh no, don't make me play that "Grandma" song again
Though that request line glows and glows
Just as bright as Rudolph's nose
I'll do anything you say, I'll play them barking dogs all day
But please don't make me play that "Grandma" song
(Don't make him play that "Grandma" song)
Don't make me play that "Grandma" song again