It's a Great Day to Be a Guy

"You know I'm really gonna miss you, sugar britches"
"I'm gonna miss you too, Bub"
"Now I'm only gonna be gone a few days
But now there is a few things I need you to do while I'm gone"
"Oh, I figured there's somethin'!"
"Oh, quit complainin'"

"All you gotta do is cut the grass, wash the car, trim the hedges
Paint the fence, clean the pool, give the dog a bath
Defrost the fridge, clean out the garage"
"Right"
"Sweep the chimney, and I'll see you on Monday
I love you boogie, boogie"
"I love you too an' you, you don't you worry 'bout me, I'll be just fine"

I've got my socks dryin' in the microwave
Hair on my back I don't plan to shave
I've got the house to myself while the wife's away
I'll be rockin' all night

Yeah, I think I'll drink me an ice cold brew
Lounge in my boxers like I used to do
There'll be no Ally McBeal on the tube, no
I'll be watchin' the fight

Well, it's a great day to be a guy
Played cards with my buddies until sunrise
You know, I never thought that my neighbor would
Be sunbathing topless, Lord, she sure looks good

I caught a 10 pound bass out on the lake
Played 18 holes with my best friend, Jake
Best balls I hit was when I stepped on a rake
Oh, well it wasn't too bright

Now I look in the fridge, what do I see?
Last night's pizza starin' back at me
Pepperoni and anchovies
What a beautiful sight

Well, it's a great day to be a guy
Buck naked in my lawn chair swattin' at flies
Got some hot dogs on the charcoal grill
I don't wanna burn my wieners but I probably will

That fried baloney and cheese macaroni
Tasted good this afternoon
But now I'm passin' some serious gas and
I might have to leave the room
Pee - hee!

Well, I might go get me a new hairdo
Spend a couple hours in a tanning booth
Might even get me a gold front tooth
Whoa, hah, yeah!

And it's a great day to be a guy
But when my wife gets home, she's gonna tan my hide
I'll be hung over but a lookin' good
From a week of reliving my bachelorhood

It's a great day to be a guy
But another week of this and I'd probably die
I tend to party harder than I should
When my wife's not here to make me be good
Yeah hoo!