Holding On

Tears appear as I'm alone in the dark
Haunted by suicidal thoughts and all the ghosts from the past
Heart broken in half, I'm internally bleeding
Searching for reasons why my angel turned into a demon
Soul mates is a myth, there's more chances for a blizzard of identical snowflakes to exist
Hold blades to my wrists
Separate soul from my flesh, sick of trying to cope with the stress and showing regrets
So-called friends posing a threat
Cut the cancer at your circle before you're pushed over the edge
I take steps closer to death
Had a head-on collisions with depression and was left as an emotional wreck
Try to step in my shoes, walking through a wilderness
A Venice winter weather reflecting my mood
These are just confessions of truth, expected to lose
So I watch the world with a negative view
I'm a dead man walking, spirit dragging my carcass
Wish I shared the same faith as Natasha?
I don't pray, this God isn't listening
My father forgets his sorrow swallowing bottled oblivion
No model civilians in these turbulent times
Not afraid of death, I'm afraid of the journey of life
And my words to the wise;
Stand strong, and as long as fire burn in my eyes I'm determined to fight
Most of the time it seems life's going wrong
We feel like outcasts and we don't belong
We need to vent that's why we wrote this song
I hope I'm strong enough to keep holding on
I been searching blindly to find myself
For many times I felt like my life was hell
I even cried for help, I'm down everyday
And now very afraid from how memories fade
I refuse to live in poverty, but feel guilt
For wanting an easy way out and win the lottery
Trying to drown the pain, but I'm sinking so deep
Wanting things I can't have and having things I don't need
I'm lonely at times, and I'm needing some luck
Developed thick skin from receiving tough love
Some people are blessed with better lives, I zone out
With no sound when I rest my head at night
Hoping for better dreams, but I'm so stressed waking up in cold sweats when I attempt to sleep
We live in war, rest in peace
Using hope as a shield when swinging swords against the Beast
Wondering if I got a tragic life ahead of me
Cause on my roads to riches: traffic lights are never green
My imagination is restricted by a migraine
When I try to paint a perfect picture in my mind frame
Dreaded how times change
Friends using drugs and alcohol as anaesthetics for life pain
In the back of my mind, wanting to reach back
To '03 and recapture all my happiest of times
In the spiralling downward descention drowning in depression
No amount of counselling sessions could ever bound my aggression
Crushed by a powerful tension, I don't see sheep at night
I'm too busy counting my blessings
Cold as the frostbitten globe giving up by a ghost
Feel ungrateful complaining about my status of living
When these day people die in disgraceful conditions
I guess it's all relative, my force's negative
I channel war messages just to form sentences
Life is my sworn nemesis, I even admit
Sometimes I wish to beef on my wrist and cease to exist
All issues closed to my broken heart
Am I walking a chosen path? I can't embrace faith with open arms
Emotions charge breaking the curse, since the pain of the Earth but I can't explain it in words
I'm battling demons inside, searching for unachievable reasons to the meaning of life
Clueless as to when I meet my demise
Feelings behind my insecurities stop me ceasing my time
I can't sleep through the night, my dreams are denied
As the tears begin to seep from deep in my eyes
Slowly losing strength on my grip
Fingers slipping from the edge of the cliff
Falling into the endless abyss