Oh Men!

Oh men, what are we like?
Why can't we just stop gazing?
Why must we always ogle?
What makes them so amazing?
Sometimes it's just a bosom,
sometimes it's just a wiggle,
sometimes it's just the rump
or just the jeans or just the jiggle,
be they schoolgirl, be they teacher,
be they housewife, be they hussy,
be they scholar, be they halfwit -
face it, boys, we're just not fussy!

Now, I don't think we're all the same,
but I think there's few exceptions -
yes, we all love to lech,
we're all slaves to our erections.
And they say we don't grow up,
that we all just need our mothers,
and they've maybe got a point,
but listen to me, brothers:
we can claim it's just our nature,
we can swear it's just our way,
but that's a modern myth,
it's just the easy thing to say,
because Mother Nature says that women
should find the fittest donor -
yes, they should sleep around
and Man should be the loner! And women once were worshipped
until Christians crashed the scene
and said, 'Your place is in the home
and your pleasure is obscene!'
So don't mistake your woman
for your plaything or your prey,
because she'll probably outshine you
in almost every way.

Yes, you can do your cleaning
and you can do your cooking:
give the ladies some respect -
but there's still no harm in looking!

My love, what am I like?
You should be all I need -
I'm yours until I die,
I'm in love with you, indeed.
We don't see eye to eye,
not every day is sunny
(in fact I'm certain when you hear this,
you'll think it's pretty funny).
So, to ask a stupid question:
could I love you more? Not much,
and even though I'm looking,
I swear I could never touch.
My heart and hands are yours,
just let me keep my eyes
and I'll rip them out myself
should infidelity arise!