Colorado Cool-Aid

Well, I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas
Was drinkin' Colorado Kool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans
And we was-, what's that you say?
What's Colorado Kool-Aid?

Well, it's a can of Coors brewed from a mountain stream
It'll set your head on fire and make your kidneys scream
Oh, it sure is fine
Yeah, we was havin' ourselves one of 'em real good times

But you know every beer joint that you've ever been in
Some big, mean drunk who just ain't got no friend
Sure enough, he wants to fight
Yeah, he's gonna whip everything in sight

Well, he took him a big cold swallow of beer
And he walked over and spit in my Mexican friends ear
And sure enough, that made my buddy real mad
That's somethin' like he ain't never had

Well, sir, he pulled out a big, long switch blade knife
Quick as a whistle, he began to slice
And that big mean drunk stood back, his face full of tears
Lookin' down at the floor and one of his ears

Ha, he cut that thing off, even with the sideburns
You might say the little Mexican fella, he just didn't give a durn
But he was a gentleman about it
And bent over and with a half way grin
Picked it up and handed it back to him

He said, "Now, big man
You get the urge to spit a little beer
Just open up your hand there, and spit it in your own ear
Won't be no trouble that way"
That's what I heard him say

And I said, "Barmaid, set us up a round of that Colorado Kool-Aid
While you're up their, bring this big fella here a box of Band-Aids"
Now let me tell you, if you're ever ridin' down in south of Texas
And decide to stop and drink some Colorado Kool-Aid
Maybe talk to some Mexicans, and you get the urge to get a little tough
Better make damn sure you got your knife-proof ear-muff

Hey, ain't that right, big man?
I said, "Ain't that right big man?"
Ah, hell, he can't hear
Not on this side anyway, he ain't got no ear

Hey barmaid
Bring us all a big, tall glass of that Colorado Kool-Aid
How 'bout it?
How you doin', big man?
Still got your ear there in your hand?
Oh yeah