S-l-y In Slytherin

put the S-L-Y, the 'sly' in House of Slytherin
The H-O-T, the 'hot' in House of Slytherin
The S-I-N, the 'sin' in House of Slytherin
The S-L-U-T, the 'slut' in House of Slytherin

We always cheat at Quidditch 'cause we like to play dirty
Knock you off your broom so we can win by thirty
We always say what's on our minds, concisely, never wordy
We're the coolest kids at school, you Ravenclaws are nerdy
Professor Snape's our Head of House, so we excel at Potions
We don't have to work hard, we just go through the motions
My complexion's very smooth because I use special lotions
Shop at Knockturn Alley, for all our magic notions

(Yeah, you know how we do
Slytherins for life!)

I put the S-L-Y, the 'sly' in House of Slytherin
The H-O-T, the 'hot' in House of Slytherin
The S-I-N, the 'sin' in House of Slytherin
The S-L-U-T, the 'slut' in House of Slytherin

There's an orgy in our common room every Friday night
When a Gryffindor steps to us we always start a fight
We're not always well-behaved, we don't always do what's right
We're really good kissers, but I must warn we bite
We take coed bubble baths in the Prefects' bathroom
Lucius Malfoy makes sure Draco has the fastest broom
Our dorms are in the dungeons 'cause we like to live in gloom
Trelawney can predict Harry Potter's coming doom

I put the S-L-Y, the 'sly' in House of Slytherin
The H-O-T, the 'hot' in House of Slytherin
The S-I-N, the 'sin' in House of Slytherin
The S-L-U-T, the 'slut' in House of Slytherin

Our uniforms are grey and green because we're from old money
Only wealthy pure-blood boys are allowed to call me honey
The Basilisk was not a myth unlike the Easter bunny
When it petrified Hermione we found it rather funny
Salazar's our founding father with a master plan
To keep out all the mudbloods by putting up a ban
The best headmaster in history was Phineas Nigellus
His portrait hangs on the wall to make Dumbledore jealous

I put the S-L-Y, the 'sly' in House of Slytherin
The H-O-T, the 'hot' in House of Slytherin
The S-I-N, the 'sin' in House of Slytherin
The S-L-U-T, the 'slut' in House of Slytherin

To the H, to the O, to the U-S-E
To the O, to the F, to the S-L-Y
To the T, to the H, to the E-R-I-N
What's that spell? House of Slytherin!

I put the S-L-Y, the 'sly' in House of Slytherin
The H-O-T, the 'hot' in House of Slytherin
The S-I-N, the 'sin' in House of Slytherin
The S-L-U-T, the 'slut' in House of Slytherin

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven
All good witches go to heaven
If that's the case, then I guess I'm going to hell
You know what I say to that, I say: Oh well!