Like You to Death

I like, really wanna take you to the theater
See a non-romantic comedy and listen as you repeat the words
I'll smirk as you finish Adam Sandler's sentences
While we're sipping on our colas, eating peanut butter sandwiches

The time we spend together sure does have advantages
But I could care less about knowing where your parents live
I don't mean to be to mean and I'm sorry you were not warned
But we won't be sharing secrets, not even this bag of popcorn

It's not that I'm not caring, we could watch porn
But don't try any funny stuff, this package is labeled, "Not Yours"
I like to keep my bubble distant from your peeps and mumbles
You view the forest for the trees but all I see is trouble

From sea to shining sea, be all that you can be because it's a hustle
But you'll never understand me, so we will never be a couple
Even though your breasts are supple to this boy in a bubble
It's all toil and trouble, like

I like, I like you to death
I like you, I like you to death
I really like you but I don't love you
Don't really want a kiss but I sure do want a hug!

I like, I like you to death
I like you and I will like you until death
I don't "like-like" you, even though I trust you
There will never be an us, it's just you!

I like, really wanna to take you to the pitch-n-putt
Be hopeful about hole-in-ones and play a little catching up
It's been a minute since you and I relaxed and junk
So, grab your ball but not mine

See how easily I can pass the buck?
Fasten up your hands to that club and swing your arms like a pendulum
It's all about your center of gravity but
While I hold your head straight don't take it as me being your majesty

You'd like to be my queen
I'm well aware you're all "hot for teacher" and everything in-between
But you cannot win this prize by acting all, "Charlie Sheen"
Nor looking back at me with those bright, googly eyes

It'd be stupid for you to devise a plan to become concubines
Despite the AstroTurf hills we both have to climb
Our friendship is endless and any more is asinine
Perhaps me drawing the putting line was just a matter of time, and I

I like, I like you to death
I like you, I like you to death
I really like you but I don't love you
Don't really want a kiss but I sure do want a hug!

I like, I like you to death
I like you and I will like you until death
I don't "like-like" you, even though I trust you
There will never be an us, it's just you!

I like, really wanna take to you the bowling alley
Pick up a couple spares, drink some beers, just roll and rally
We'll share a handful of high-fives, as the fun increases
Our life-lines, I'll even let you control the tally

But the thing is, I already told you, Sally
Despite your fair stance, and implants you don't peak my valleys
You don't speak my language even though you're so sweet
You seem to strike out with each and every advance

I'm not even talking pins, you're lost in grins
The ginger kids in the opposite lane can see the awkwardness
As I cringe, watching your granny throws expose your panty-hose
You think it's, "oh, so sexy" while my head's like, oh noes!"

It's time to take you home, we won't
Be following this with karaoke, that's all she wrote
I surely don't need you to hold me closely, Tiny Dancer
Nor share a drunken duet of Private Eyes by Hall and Oates

I like, I like you to death
I like you, I like you to death
I really like you but I don't love you
Don't really want a kiss but I sure do want a hug!

I like, I like you to death
I like you and I will like you until death
But keep your lips zipped, this is only friendship
There will never be an us, it's just you!