Tesco Saves

Are you ready, sisters?
I am, sister
I too, am ready

Oh, there's a five letter word
That brings salvation
(Yes, salvation)
Yes, there's a five letter word
To bring you peace of mind
So let the whole congregation
Raise their hearts in exaltation
For now we see where once
We all were blind
(We were blind)
Five little letters
Bringing hope to all mankind

Let me hear you say T! (T!)
Let me hear you say E! (E!)
Let me hear you say S! (S!)
C! (C!)
O! (O!)

Tesco saves (Tesco saves)
Tesco saves (Tesco saves)
Oh Jesus saves, but Tesco save you more (saves you more)
There's a special offer on Cordarone (beep beep)
'Cause man can't live by bread alone (beep beep)
Even though they baked it all in store (baked in store)
You'll smell it as you glide in through the automatic door

Come on in
Come on in
Why wait until you die to go to heaven?
Heaven's known
When paradise awaits you in those well stock aisles
Fromage-frais and cream from Devon
Are displayed in aisle 11
Their pharmacist will help you with your piles (ooh, your piles)
They sell unattractive clothing in a range of ugly styles

Tesco saves (Tesco saves)
Tesco saves (Tesco saves)
Oh Jesus saves, but Tesco save you more (saves you more)
The good Lord may deliver you
But Tesco can deliver too
Your Clubcard offer's all you've ever dreamed
You'll truly know redemption when your vouchers are redeemed

Within these walls you'll see such revalation (sing it, sister!)
You'll find that Tesco's Finest is the holy grail
And if they're coming, buy buy
From their website in the sky
You'll marvel at their range of goods on sale
So sinners, come and join the pilgrims on the Tesco trail

Tesco saves (yes, Tesco saves)
Tesco saves (yes, Tesco saves)
Oh Jesus saves, but Tesco save you more (more, more, more)
A mount of olives and fatty calves
Some DVDs to make you laugh
And don't ignore their range of gourmet dishes (gourmet)
You'll find them near the bakery between the loaves and fishes

Hallelu
Hallelujah, go down Moses

Tesco saves (Tesco saves)
Tesco saves (Tesco saves)
Oh Jesus saves, but Tesco save you more (saves you more)
They've plenty of endangered cod
Luscious racks of lamb of God
Don't forget insurance for your budgie
Then go and grab yourself a bumper pack of something fudgy

I feel the spirit, sister!
Yes, the spirit is with us here tonight!
I feel the spirit too, sister!
Will you take over from me at the celestial organ?
I will, sister!

Betheren!
Let us embrace the Tesco way of life!
For they can supply gas
Electricity, mobile phone, legal advice, internet
And banking!
Thou shalt brave a world omnipotence
And wish them success with their brand new store in Nankai
Thou shalt be inexorably drawn towards the expensive items
By their teams of retail psychologists
Who are paid shitloads to manipulate your psyche
Thou shalt not worship
At the shrines of Aldi and Lidl (oh!)
For yea verily, they are false gods!
(False gods!) (False gods!)
What are they, my sisters?
(False gods!)
What are they, my brothers and sisters?
(False gods!)
Say it loud!
(False gods!)
Say it louder!
(False gods!)
And anyways
The carrier bags are pikey
Thou shalt purchase strawberries in winter
Nuked tomatoes all the way from California
And apples, apples, apples, apples
That have spent a year in refridgeration
Yea
Thou shalt also purchase
Bags of chlorine-washed salad leaves
Especially prepared for you
In countries where people are dying of starvation
Thou shalt shun the independant record stores
And use the Tesco website
To stream your favourite songs
Thou shalt pop in for a pint of milk
Then somehow end up spending £47!
I have been moved!
I have been moved!
Now you move

Tesco saves (Tesco saves)
Tesco saves (Tesco saves)
Oh Jesus saves, but Tesco save you more (more and more each day)
Their stores are found both near and far
Lots of space to park your car
Prime location sites, they sure can pick 'em (they pick 'em)
And sometimes they collapse on railway tracks like in High Wycombe

Tesco saves (Hallelujah)
Tesco saves (Hallelujah, brother)
Oh Jesus saves, but Tesco save you more
So all you chillin', fight the fight
Ye unbelievers see the light
It's time to lift thine eyes unto the stars
Unto the stars
'Cause next month Tesco opens up
Its flagship store on Mars

Praise to Terry Leahy! (Oh Terry Leahy)
Praise to Terry Leahy! (Oh Terry Leahy)
Praise to Terry Leahy!
Tesco saves you more!
Yeah! More!