Self-Assured Destruction

It's probably just the booze, but I always feel like shit
The lack of sleep, the nightmares and the shit that comes with it
I know it's probably just the smokes, but this asthma's here to stay
The lack of breath is useful when you've nothing left to say

And when it comes down to it, you tried to help me out
And I'm grateful for that, but really there's no point
'Cause you could never mean anything to me
It's self-assured destruction that I need

It's probably just the drugs, but I sometimes feel superb
The lack of worry, self doubt, all replaced with feeling loved
I know it's probably just the cold, but I'm always feeling sick
Or maybe it's the lack of warmth from people that I miss?

And when it comes down it, they tried to help me out
And I'm grateful for it, but there was no real point
'Cause they could never mean anything to me
It's self-assured destruction that I need

And I don't know what's missing here
It's probably something small
Often found in bottles and available to all
Or maybe something found in tiny moments in the heart
But I just don't know where to even start

So when it comes down to it, I'll try to help me out
And you might notice, but really there's no point
'Cause I could never mean anything to me
This self-assured destruction's all I need
And you could never mean anything to me
It's self-assured destruction that I need