#1 Boyfriend

I know, I know, I know, we've such a long, long way to go
I know, I know, I know, we've such a long, long way

Let's bring it back, back to the basics
Past 3 months, living in the Matrix
Thinking all's good, but let's face it
Counting down till you're back on your spaceship (3, 2, 1)
Freaking out over little things, damn babe
Like the time that you found that videotape
Like the time that you caught me on the fire escape
And when I mentioned you were kinda, sorta outta shape
It just seems like you're looking for a problem
Like when I said, without makeup, you a goblin
My precious, why you so solemn?
You're my Gabourey, and I'm Gollum
I don't know why I'm always on the defense
It's like you thinking there's some sort of pretense
It's just too much, baby doll, to comprehend
But understand, I'm a #1 Boyfriend

I know, I know, I know, we've such a long, long way to go
I know, I know, I know, we've such a long, long way, but
Why am I always crying every single time?
I know, I know, I know, we've such a long, long way to go

Take a seat, lemme tell you bout my baby girl
Cute face, good shape, she my whole world
Hot thang in a tiny little black dress
I be mountin' so much she call me Everest
Under sheets so much, she a victim
Other ladies try to play me, she evict 'em
Only problem is she wanna hear 4 words
Ain't one to commit, keep a line blurred
So what if we're goin' on 4 years?
So what if I'm goin' on 4 beers?
You know you love me, ya 1-4-3
So why you hatin'? Ultimatums? Stop playin' me
The solution to your delusion is simple
Get Proactive, no more pimples
Can't stop, won't stop stalkin' ya Facebook
Calm ya' ass down while we take it back to the hook

I know, I know, I know, we've such a long, long way to go
I know, I know, I know, we've such a long, long way, but
Why am I always crying every single time?
I know, I know, I know, we've such a long, long way to go

And if you leave me, you'll take away the muse of my music
I might just lose it, so guide me through this
Don't wanna find another that can light my fuses
But we both know that I can do it, don't be stupid
Talking about you don't know what wonderful is
But wonderful is you don't know that I'm a son of a bitch
Under the covers like a lover's abyss
Then back to the kitchen for you in a couple of minutes, yeah

But baby you know that worst to worst
You got me, and I've got you, and her and her, but
Word comes first when I get around to ya
You couldn't hurt to burn a couple of pounds, do ya?
But this is better than it's ever been
It's evident that you and me forever is the destiny I better win
But if you have to leave me with all of this emptiness
I hope that we can still be friends... with benefits

I know, I know, I know, we've such a long, long way to go
I know, I know, I know, we've such a long, long way, but
Why am I always crying every single time?
I know, I know, I know, we've such a long, long way to go