Jackass in a Can

Your average knight in armor
He's utterly the pits
His ego's so humongous
That his helmet barely fits
He wears two tons of padding
And thinks he's quite the man
He's nothing but a jackass in a fancy metal can
A jackass in a can
There's nothing worser than
A high and mighty jackass in a can
My master hasn't had a sip of grog without my spit in it for years. I've got him craving it now. I gave it to him once without it, he said it didn't taste right. So, what about your knight? As bad as ours?
Uh, yeah, sure.
There's all that fame and glory
The smell though, not so great
And then, those big long lances
Yeah, to overcompensate
The glamor, the swagger
Yeah, really not a fan
He's quite a major dillweed
In a fancy metal can
A dillweed in a can
There's nothing lamer than
A condescending dillweed in a can
And who does all the planning
Yeah, who does all the work
True
Who gets no vacation, not one payment, not one perk
Good point
Who's third-rate insurance
Comes without a dental plan
Your average, humble squire
Not the meathead in the can
A jerkface in a can
There's nothing sadder than
Some over-muscled, chauvinistic
Self-indulgent, egotistic
Stingy, prissy, narcesistic
Jackass in a can
Oh my God, that's me