War Is A Science

War is a science
Which a general must use
With stratagems and strategies
Statistical analysis
To know how many soldiers he's prepared to
Lose!

Now, gentlemen,
this is the plan for tomorrow's skirmish

The army of the enemy is stationed on the hill
So we've got to draw them down here
Where they're easier to kill
So you in the ravine (That's this area in green)
Will move across the plain where you plainly
Can be seen
Then the enemy (in blue) will undoubtedly pursue
And we'll hope to keep your losses to comparitively few
And then (and then)
And gentlemen and then

And then the men go marching out into the fray
Conquering the enemy and carrying the day
Hark! The blood is pounding in our ears
Jubilations! We can hear a grateful nation's
Cheers!
Pippin, sit down immediately!

Now, where was I? Ah, yes...
A general accepts that war is hell or even worse
He must never be too cautious or casualty averse
I'm certain the majority of blood that you will spatter
Will be theirs with just a minimum
Of damage that's collateral
But win or for success
We must always pay a price
That's why for my success
You must sacrifice

And then, and then
And gentlemen, and then...

And then the men go marching out into the fray
Conquering the...
Pippin...!
Sorry father...
Well now time is short
I've got to speed the whole damn thing up...

Listen to me men as I'll endeavor to explain
What separates a charlatan from a Charlemagne
A rule known to generals illustrious and various
Though pompous as a Pompey or daring as a Darius
A little rule that every leader knows by heart
It's smarter to be lucky than it's lucky to be smart

And then, and then
And gentlemen, and then...

Now, Pippin! Now!

And then the men go marching out into the fray
Conquering the enemy and carrying the day
Hark! The blood is pounding in our ears
Jubilations! We can hear a grateful nation's
Cheers!