The Goods

Take a look at this girl
That's everything I like
She got the face, she got the waist
She got the legs
Naw, her tits are too big

What are you, crazy?
Bodacious funbags are a must!
They gotta be C or D or better
They gotta post a threat to the sweater - ow!

She got the goods!
That's an eight or nine at least
She got the goods
Let me see that
She has some irredeemable flaws. I give her a six

Ah - now there's a ten!
You call that a ten?
Based on the booty
What do you mean? It's huge
She got a butt like a battleship!
I don't need to look above the hip

She got that shelf kinda ass
You could display your tchotchkes
Your collectibles on there

Baby got back. That's a fact
You could park a wide-track Pontiac in that crack
Now that's the goods
The bigger the cushion -
She's got a sofa-bed back there!

Well we just better hope the women are more forgiving than we are
What is that supposed to mean?
If they're looking at us Sunday night
The way we're usually looking at them
We're in trouble
Take a look at that opie-looking jerk with the pigeon chest!
And I give that fat guy's ass a two
But I wish I had such voluptous breasts

And what about old Father Time over there?
Yeah, sure he can dance
But I didn't pay twenty bucks to look at
Red Foxx skip around in a pair of blue underpants
That ain't the goods
What happens when they say that?
This is not the goods!

He's fat, he's old, he's skinny, he's bald
He's short
He's got pimples on his ass

He's fat, he's old, he's skinny, he's bald
He's short
He's got pimples on his ass
He's fat, he's old, he's skinny, he's bald
He's short
He's got pimples on his ass
He's fat, he's old, he's skinny, he's

Women can be lovers
Women can be pals
Women can be modern types
Or sweet old-fashioned gals

Women can be angels on earth
But then again
Holy goddamn fucking shit
Women can be men

He's fat, he's old, he's skinny
He's bald, he's short
He's fat, he's old, he's skinny
He's bald, he's short

I've got pimples (He's got pimples)
All over my ass! (All over his ass)
Look at it! Jesus!
That ain't the goods
I feel extremely insecure
All of a sudden (That ain't the goods)
What am I doin' here?
What am I doin' here? (That ain't the goods)
What am I doin' here?
What the hell am I doing here?
What am I doin' here? (He's fat, he's old, he's skinny)
What the hell am I doin' here? (He's bald, he's short, he's got pimples on his ass)
What am I doin' here? (He's fat, he's old, he's skinny)
What the hell am I doin' here? (He's bald, he's short, he's got pimples on his ass)
What am I doin' here? (He's fat, he's old, he's skinny)
What the hell am I doin' here? (He's bald, he's short, he's got pimples on his ass)
What am I doin' here? (He's fat, he's old, he's skinny)
What the hell am I doin' here? (He's bald, he's short, he's got pimples on his ass)
(That ain't the goods) What am I doin' here? (He's fat, he's old, he's skinny)
What the hell am I doin' here? (He's bald, he's short, he's got pimples on his ass)
(That ain't the goods) What am I doin' here? (He's fat, he's old, he's skinny)
What the hell am I doin' here? (He's bald, he's short, he's got pimples on his ass)
What am I doin' here? (He's fat, he's old, he's skinny)
What the hell am I doin' here? (He's bald, he's short, he's got pimples on his ass)



Credits
Writer(s): David Yazbek
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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