The Rant Song - Original Version

Paitent: Dr. Cox I'm not crazy
Dr. Cox: Am I still singing?
Paitent: Singing like a bird...
JD: Dr. Cox Huge News!
I pulled some strings
and got the parking spot right behind yours!
Bumper Buddies!
Dr. Cox: Still you're not nearly as bad as her.
Do you know how much you annoy me?
The answer is a lot.
Should I list the reasons why?
Well I don't see why not...
It's your hair, your nose, your chinless face You always need a hug
Not to mention all the manly appletinis that you chug
That you think I am your mentor just continues to perplex
And, oh my God, stop telling me when you have nerdy sex!
(Spoken) JD: Oh, by the way, last time Kim was in town, we got some appletinis and poured 'em on her good parts!
Dr. Cox: See now, Newbie, that's the thing you do that drives me up a tree
'Cause no matter how I rant at you, you never let me be!
So I'm stuck with all your daydreaming, your wish to be my son
I makes me suicidal and I'm not the only one
No, I'm not the only one
Janitor: It all started with a penny in the door
There was a hatred, I had never felt before
So now I'll make him pay, each and every day
Until that moussed-haired little nuisance
...is
...no
...more
Dr. Cox: So now that is why I call you names like Carol, Jane and Sue
Like Moesha, Kim and Lillian, Suzzane and Betty-Lou
See, regardless of the names I pick, my feelings are quite clear
You're a pain in every day of every month of every year.
Paitent: Dr. Cox, you gotta help me, 'cause I really am distressed
Can't you find another option, won't you run another test.
Dr Cox: If you want some kind of favor, really anykind of favor
Please just get me peace and quit from this God-forsaken pest
(Spoken) JD: I think what my bumper-buddy is trying to say...
Paitent: Shut your cake-hole Mary-Beth
Or I swear to god I'll shut it soon
Dr Cox: Congratulations
we'll schedule your test this afternoon.