The Worst Pies in London - Highlights version

Wait!
What's your rush?
What's your hurry?
You gave such a- fright!
I thought you was a ghost,
Half a minute can't you sit?
Sit you down- SIT!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks...
Did you come here for a pie, Sir?
Do forgive me if it is a little vague
-What is that?
But you think we had the plague.
From the way that people,
Keep avoiding- No you don't!
Heaven knows I tried Sir,
But there's no one comes in
Even to inhale.
Right you are Sir would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you I can hardly blame them.
These are probably the worst pies in London
I know why nobody cares to take them,
I should know,
I make'em
But good- NO!
The worst pies in London
Even that's polite!
The worst pies in London...
If you doubt it take a bite!
Is that just disgusting?
You have to conceide it
It's nothing but crusting,
Here drink this, you'll need it
The worst pies in London...
And no wonder with the price of meat!
What it is,
Whan you get it-Never.
Thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat
Finding poor
Animals
Wot are dying in the Street
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop.
Does her buisness but I noticed something weird,
Lately all her neighbor's cats have disapeared
Have to hand it to her,
Wot I calls,
Popping pussies into pies!
Wouldn't do in my shop!
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick,
And I'm telling you them pussycats is quick...
No denying times is hard, Sir
These are probably the worst pies in London
Only Lard and nothing more...
Is that just revolting,
All greasy and greatty
It looks like it's molting,
And tastes like...
Well, pity.
A woman alone,
With limited wings...
And the worst pies in London!
Ahh. Sir,
Times is hard,
Times is hard...