Billy Joe McGuffrey (Extended Version)

Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the first day of first grade, I'll tell you what he did
He tripped over a pencil box, flew up in the air
Landed on a kangaroo who pulled out all his hair

He needed first aid in the first grade
First aid in the first grade
First aid in the first grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the second day of second grade, I'll tell you what he did
He slipped on a banana peel, flew up in the sky
Landed on a chimpanzee who poked him in the eye

He needed first aid in the second grade
First aid in the second grade
First aid in the second grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the third day of third grade, I'll tell you what he did
He fell out of a fishing boat, splashed into the sea
Landed on a moray eel who bit him on the knee

He needed first aid in the third grade
First aid in the third grade
First aid in the third grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the fourth day of fourth grade, I'll tell you what he did
He went out on a tadpole hunt, slipped into the creek
Landed on a large-mouth bass who bit him on the cheek

He needed first aid in the fourth grade
First aid in the fourth grade
First aid in the fourth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the fifth day of fifth grade, I'll tell you what he did
He went into the garden shop looking for a rose
Sniffed a baby's breath and got a bee caught up his nose (ah!)

He needed first aid in the fifth grade
First aid in the fifth grade
First aid in the fifth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the sixth day of sixth grade, I'll tell you what he did
He went out on a field trip, the first one of the year
Backed into a sabertooth and pierced both of his ears

He needed first aid in the sixth grade
First aid in the sixth grade
First aid in the sixth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the seventh day of seventh grade, I'll tell you what he did
He tried out for the talent show to show how well he sung
Cracked a grin, a wasp flew in, and stung him on the tongue

He needed first aid in the seventh grade
First aid in the seventh grade
First aid in the seventh grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the eighth day of eighth grade, I'll tell you what he did
He tried to play some basketball went up for a dunk
Landed in the bushes and got squirted by a skunk (eww!)

He needed first aid in the eighth grade
First aid in the eighth grade
First aid in the eighth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the ninth day of ninth grade, I'll tell you what he did
He fed the pigs on grandma's farm, two piglets and a sow
Slipped on all their slop and then got stepped on by a cow

He needed first aid in the ninth grade
First aid in the ninth grade
First aid in the ninth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the tenth day of tenth grade, I'll tell you what he did
He went out on some water skis and hit a sunken log
Wiped out on the lily pads, got spit on by a frog

He needed first aid in the tenth grade
First aid in the tenth grade
First aid in the tenth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the eleventh day of eleventh grade, I'll tell you what he did
He swerve and missed an alley cat while taking driver's ed
Ran into a tree and bumped the dashboard with his head

He needed first aid in the eleventh grade
First aid in the eleventh grade
First aid in the eleventh grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now... Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the twelfth day of twelfth grade, I'll tell you what he did
He walked into financial aid, fell and broke a bone
Showed them all his bills and got a great big college loan

He needed first aid in the twelfth grade
First aid in the twelfth grade
First aid in the twelfth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid!
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