Now [Act One]

You were sweet to think of the theater for me

I'll enjoy it too

Oh, who wouldn't?
When all the posters call her
The One And Only Desiree Armfeldt!
I wonder what it would feel like to be a 'One And Only'
The One And Only Anne Egerman!
Oh, no
Oh, for heaven's sakes!
Can that be a pimple coming?

Now
As the sweet imbecilities
Tumble so lavishly onto her lap

(Oh, Fredrik what a day it's been)
(Unending drama, while Petra was brushing my hair...)

Now
There are two possibilities
A, I could ravish her
B, I could nap

(That grumpy old Miss Nordstrom from next door)
(Her sister's coming for a visit...)

Say it's the ravishment
Then we see the option that follows, of course

(I do hope I'm imperious enough for the servants)
(And I try to be, but half the time I think they're laughing at me)

A, the deployment of charm
Or B, the adoption of physical force
Now, B might arouse her
But let us assume
I trip on my trouser leg crossing the room

Her hair getting tangled
Her stays getting snapped
My nerves will be jangled
My energy sapped

Removing her clothing would take me all day
And her subsequent loathing
Would turn me away
Which eliminates B
And which leaves us with A

Could you ever be jealous of me?

Now
Insofar as approaching it
What would be festive but have its effect?

(Shall I learn Italian?)
(I think it would be amusing if the verbs aren't too irregular)

Now
There are two ways of broaching it
A, the suggestive
And B, the direct

(But then French is a much chic-er language)
(Oh, everyone says so-)

Say that I settle on B
To wit a charmingly lecherous mood
A, I could put on my nightshirt
Or sit disarmingly, B, in the nude

That might be effective
My body's alright
But not in perspective
And not in the light

I'm bound to be chilly
And feel a buffoon
But nightshirts are silly in mid-afternoon

Which leaves the suggestive
But, how to proceed?
Although she gets restive
Perhaps I could read

In view of her penchant for something romantic
De Sade is too trenchant
And Dickens too frantic
And Stendhal would ruin the plan of attack
As there isn't much blue
In The Red and The Black

De Maupassant's candor would cause her dismay
The Brontës are grander but not very gay
Her taste is much blander
I'm sorry to say
But is Hans Christian Andersen ever risque?
Which eliminates A

And then he said, "you're such a pretty lady"
Wasn't that silly?

Now
With my mental facilities partially muddied
And ready to snap

(Now, I'm sure about the bracelet)
(But earrings, earrings, which earrings?)

Now
Though there are possibilities still to be studied
I might as well nap

(Oh, mother's rubies!)
(Oh, oh, the diamonds)
(Agony!)

Bow
Though I must, too, adjust my original plan

(Desiree Armfeldt)
(I know she'll wear the most glamorous gowns)

How shall I sleep
Half as deep as I usually can?

Dear, distinguished old Fredrik

When now I still want
And, or, love you
Now as always
Now
Anne