You Must Meet My Wife [Act One]

So

So

Well, I think it's time to talk about my wife
Don't you?

To boast or complain?

Both, I expect
She lightens my sadness
She livens my days
She bursts with a kind of madness
My well ordered ways
My happiest mistake
The ache of my life
You must meet my wife

She bubbles with pleasure
She glows with surprise
Disrupts my accustomed leisure
And ruffles my ties
I don't know even now quite how it began
You must meet my wife
My Anne

One thousand whims to which give in
Since her smallest tear turns me ashen
I never dreamed that I could live in
So completely demented, contented a fashion

So sun like
So winning
So unlike a wife
I do think that I'm beginning to show signs of life
Don't ask me how at my age one still can grow
If you met my wife you'd know

Dear Fredrik I'm just longing to meet her
Sometime

She sparkles

How pleasant

She twinkles

How nice

Her youth is a sort of present

Whatever the price

The incandescent- what?
The- um

Light?

Of my life, yes

You must meet my wife

Yes, I must
I really must, now-

She flutters

How charming

She twitters

My word!

She floats

Isn't that alarming?
What is she, a bird?

She makes me feel I'm- what?

A very old man?

Yes
No!

No!

But-

I must meet your Gertrude

My Anne (sorry, Anne)

She loves my voice, my walk
My mustache
The cigar, in fact, that I'm smoking
She'll watch me puff until it's just ash
Then she'll save the cigar butt

Bizarre, but-
You're joking

She dotes on-

Your dimple?

My snoring

How dear

The point is she's really simple

Yes, that much seems clear!

She gives me funny names

Like

Old dry-as-dust

Wouldn't she just?

You must meet my wife

If I must
Yes, I must

A sea of whims that I submerge in
Yet, so lovable in repentance
Unfortunately, still a virgin
But, you can't force a flower-

Don't finish that sentence!
She's monstrous!

She's frightened

Unfeeling!

Unversed
She'd strike you as unenlightened

No, I'd strike her first!

Her reticence, her apprehension

Her crust!

No

Yes!

No!

Fredrik

You must meet my wife

Let me get my hatch and my knife!

What was that?

I must meet your wife

Yes, you must (yes, I must!)



Credits
Writer(s): Stephen Sondheim
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

Link