A Weekend At Hareford - Original Cast Recording/1986

The season in London has started to bore,
There's nothing to do here you've not done before,
The people are tiredsome, the parties - a chore,
We couldn't stay there for one minute more.
The weekends in London have lost all their fun.
Now Wimbledon's over; The test match is done;
Now Henley had finished and Ascot has run,
It's time for the country - it's time for the sun.

There isn't any doubt about the best place we know-
It's Hareford Hall in Hampshire - where the smart people go.
If the Dutchess does invite you then you're top of the tree;
Thank goodness, thank goodness she did write to me,
She did write to me!
The atmosphere will lighten when we reach Hareford Hall,
And everything will brighten when we're all at the Hall,
You'll find noone will force you to wake up at dawn,
There's breakfast in bed and lunch on the lawn;
And if there are inches you'd like to work off,
There's swimming; There's croquet;
There's Tennis; And golf.
Without equivocation we can all recommend
The noble institution of the Hareford weekend
It has it's social equal nowhere else in the Land,
There's no other home so stately and grand,
So stately and grand!
The atmosphere has heighten now we're near Hareford Hall -
The younger guests are frightened who've not been here at all
But, you're welcome so long as you keep to the rules,
The Duchess has never been partial to fools,

But really so long as you know what is done -

You're happy enjoying your place in the sun!

For a weekend at Hareford is simply divine.
The people; the parties; the food; and the wine.
There's leisure and pleasure for e-ver-y-one,
You're happy enjoying your place in the sun.
It does seem such a pity that they can't find the heir,

The family solicitor has looked everywhere -
It's rumoured, at the moment, that he's tearing around -

The Duchess demands that the heir shall be found;
The heir shall be found!

Listen everybody; for the news will will soon be 'round,

The family solicitor has run the heir to ground,
There's not a doubt about it, there isn't any snag -
He's dug him out of somewhere and he's got him in the bag.

I've seen him, I've seen him, he's here! (He's here!)
And almost any moment (almost any moment, almost any moment)
Any blessed moment he'll appear!

Is he dark? Is he fair?
Do you thing we shall care for the new Lord Hareford?
Is he short? Is he tall?
Do you think we shall fall for the new Lord Hareford?
Won't you tell us if you can, what you know about the man?
Is he what we all expect?
Is he circumspect?
Is he weak? Is he strong?
Does he really belong? Is he all he should be?
Well very soon you will see him
Very soon (very soon, very soon, very soon)
We shall see!