An English Gentleman - Original Cast Recording/1986

William of Hareford is diametrically in reality
Theoretically quite opposed
And that pathetic'ly, to all that appertains
To gentle folk

So we face, with grave dubiety, this sad lack
Of pure propriety
He's no sense of High Society, the fellow even
Calls himself a bloke!

He takes his food with a horrid zest
He eats one half and he wears the rest!
Though it may be true that his blood is blue
It is nothing like as purple as his language!

He's rough!
He's crude!
He's tough!
He's rude!
By all of us it's understood
He'll never make the noble rake
That constitutes a gentleman
An English gentleman!

We served him peas and they all shot forth to the east and west
To the south and north!
Then he let one fly and it struck the eye of
Lady Margaret Leicester!
Poor Lady M. What a fearful bore
She's never had a pea in her eye before!

He's rough!
He's crude!
He's tough!
He's rude!
By all of us it's understood
He'll never make the noble rake
That constitutes a gentleman, an English gentleman
An English gentleman