Veruca's Nutcracker Sweet

NUTCRACKER
Bad nut.

VERUCA SALT
Daddy, what's happening?

MR SALT
Wonka, she's headed for the nutcracker!

OOMPA LOOPMAS
Veruca Salt, the debutante
She's always screaming "I want, I want!"
We hope she wants last month's chow mein
As she jeté's down the garbage drain

VERUCA SALT
Help!

OOMPA LOOPMAS
Veruca Salt, the silly cow
Her maddening mantra was "Now! Now! Now!"
But now hang a bell on the little brute
As she pas de bourrée's down the bad nut chute

Yes, now she'll join the trash below
So spoiled and so rotten
A fish head from a week ago
Some gouda left forgotten
A bacon rind, some left out lard
A loaf of bread gone stale and hard
A rotten tooth, a reeking pear
The thing the cat left on the stair

Veruca Salt, the pampered miss
Will now fouetté to a foul abyss
So take a whiff for it's awfully ripe
Her new address - the sewer pipe

WONKA
Stomach in, chest out.

MR SALT
Wonka, for God's sake, help her!

WONKA
I can't! The posture's terrible.

OOMPA LOOPMAS
Veruca Salt, the selfish tot
Was never good with the things she got
But it's not just vicious Veruca's fault
This rancid recipe demands
Another dash of Salt

MR SALT
Veruca, daddy's coming!

OOMPA LOOPMAS
Blame her father and her mother
That Veruca will reside
With the rubbish and the other
Wasteful things she's tossed aside
To the furnace we bequeath her
See the squirrels as they are swarming
Thought recycling was beneath her?
She's the cause of global warming

MR SALT
G-Get away from me you- you- you dirty rodents!

OOMPA LOOPMAS
Veruca Salt, the wicked witch
Will soon develop a nasty itch
We'll soon hear the twit
Screaming "Mine, all mine!"
From deep down below
Where the sun don't shine
Bad nut