Too Good to Be Bad / 2 Good 2 B Bad

Your sainted mother said to stay away from us
That she looked down on us is no surprise
Your father couldn't spend a day away from us
I still recall the hunger in his eyes

Your doctor and your dentist suggest that you
Ignore us
They abhor us
So they tell you slanderous lies
But don't listen to them
Listen to us
I'm sweets
I'm fats
I'm fries

Say so long to self control
We've a need to feed your soul
How could we possibly hurt you
We're in every snack and dessert you have had
Honest, sugar
We're too good to be bad

We're so lonesome on the shelf
Take us down
Indulge yourself
We'd like to show you our favors
And more than a few of the flavors you crave
Face it, pork rind-
You're too weak to behave

Let your appetite run riot
You know you want us--don't deny it
It's up to you to do or diet
And everything is better when you deep fat fry it
Life with us is short and sweet
We're worth our weight in cellulite
Health food's for neurotics
And macrobiotic's a fad
The FDA requires us to state this warning
The odds are great that you will hate yourself
In the morning
But eat your heart out
We're too good to be bad

As a dancing French fry
Your mom's a pretty hot tomato
But get up off that sofa girl
Before you turn into a couch potato

Put down that remote control
Hit those books-no rock and roll
Real life is nothing like Cosby
So move it or else Mrs. Crosby gets mad
Do your homework
You're too good to be bad

You have had too much TV
Your mom's not half as strict as me
I know your arm may need twisting
But don't even think of resisting a tad
It's a school night
You're too good to be bad

Drop that phone and don't you start yakkin'
I wanna hear those books start crackin'
A genie granted me three wishes
Get to your math and history then do the dishes

Please, don't make me turn to force
You are left with no recourse
Land in the slammer or end up a grammar school grad
You're really awfully hap'nin' for an Anglo-Saxon
So take a tip from Mrs. C and Michael Jackson
Just don't dis me
You are so good that you're bad
You are so good that you're bad!