The Grass is Always Greener

What can I tell you?
You're Tess Harding, for God's sakes!
I've never done anything really important with my life the way you have

I'll bet your friends are all celebrities
That's wonderful!
What's so wonderful?
You can make a pot roast
That's wonderful!

What's so wonderful?
First you brown an onion
Is your picture up at Sardi's?
That's wonderful!

What's so wonderful?
You can clean an oven
That's wonderful!

What's so wonderful?
First you get the E-Z off!

Ah, the grass is always greener
On somebody else's estate
Ah, the meat is always leaner
On somebody else's dinner plate
But you can sew a button on
That's wonderful!
What's so wonderful?
Bet you've been to discos
That's wonderful!

What's so wonderful?
First you take a Valium
I can see you planning picnics
That's wonderful!

What's so wonderful?
Eating at the White House
That's wonderful!
What's so wonderful?
First they pass the jelly beans

Ah, the grass is always greener
On somebody else's front lawn
Ah, somebody else's wiener
Always has a lot more relish on

You saved the whales in Newfoundland
That's wonderful!
What's so wonderful?
You can run a household
That's wonderful!

What's so wonderful?
First you have a breakdown
You're always in the magazines
That's wonderful!

What's so wonderful?
You can hold a husband
That's wonderful!
What's so wonderful?
There's more to life than husbands
I could use a husband
You can have my husband
I've already had your husband!
Ah, it makes you kind of teary
Ah, think about it, dearie
The grass is always greener
In someone else's yard
It's hard!

I'll bet you always ride in limousines
That's wonderful!
What's so wonderful?
You have time for luncheons
That's wonderful!

What's so wonderful?
First you sell the tupperware
The public wants your autograph
That's wonderful!
What's so wonderful?
You raised a teenaged daughter
That's wonderful!
What's so wonderful?
First you find her diaphragm

Ah, the grass is always greener
Where some other tenant pays rent
Ah, the teeth are always cleaner
In somebody else's polident

Do you know who your neighbors are?
That's wonderful!
What's so wonderful?
You know Rona Barrett
That's wonderful!

What's so wonderful?
First you keep your mouth shut
I bet you squeeze the Charmin
That's wonderful!

What's so wonderful?
You can make a headline
That's wonderful!

What's so wonderful?
I'd rather have a pot roast
So go and brown an onion
And have some peace and quiet
You've already had my husband!
Ah, everyone's a victim
Of this ducky little dictum
The grass is always greener
In someone else's yard
It's hard!



Credits
Writer(s): John Kander, Fred Ebb
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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