Ev'rybody Today Is Turning On

For some it's grass
For some it's coke
For some it's powder
For some it's smoke
Ev'rybody today is turning on

For some it's dust
For some it's weed
For some it's acid
For some it's speed
Ev'rybody today is turning on

Time was
When if a fella felt depressed
He simply got it off his chest
By callin' on a preacher
Talkin' to his teacher
Coughin' up a half a buck to see a double feature

But now it's pills
And now it's pot
And now it's poppers and God knows what
Sniff, swig, puff, and your cares are gone
Ev'rybody today is turning on

The simple life
It must've been
When smoke was Luckys and high was gin
One pink lady and how it turned 'em on
Junk was trash
And speed was swift
And glue was pasted instead of sniffed
Coke and aspirin, wow it turned 'em on

Those days
Whenever folks were feelin' low
They knew that they could get a glow
And chase away the vapors
Laughin' at the capers
Mutt and Jeff were cuttin' in the Sunday funny papers

But now it's pfft
And down it goes
Around your windpipe and up your nose
Sniff, swig, puff
And your cares are gone
Ev'rybody today is turning on (wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah)
(Wah wah, wah wah wah wah)

Hey, remember when high was up
And kicks were tame
When Manuel Nightdrake was some guy's name?
Holdin' hands and smoochin' was turning on

Horse was ride
Roach was bugs
And French connections were foreign plugs
Jivin' to Eddy Duchin was turnin' on

Those days
When if your nerves were kinda shot
Instead of goin' right to pot
You prayed to hold 'em steady
Kept a Bible ready
Took advice from Rabbi Weiss
Or Mary Bakeretti

But with the world
So much amiss
How can a whiskey beat cannabis?
Sniff, swig, puff, and your cares are temporarily gone
Ev'rybody today is turning
Right and left those joints are burning
Tax be loot some pusher's earning
Kids know how now, Daddy's learning
Ev'rybody today is turning on

Hey, remember when hash was fried
And tea was brewed
When someone pushing was merely rude?
When once a week
You cut the grass
And too much acid just gave you gas?
Sniff, swig, puff
And your cares are temporarily gone

Ev'rybody today is puffin'
In too much, look what they're stuffin'
Hold it, ma, don't touch that muffin!
God knows what your Grandpa's snuffin'
Ev'rybody today is turning on