Lucyfur (A Song About Tim's Cat)
I like to think of Lucy as an anomaly
Elusive, cute kitten when she wants to be
Yet she's awfully noisy on most mornings
While I'm brushing my teeth I'm yelling, get off of me!
There's a beauty in that beast yet it's hard to see it
Once she retreats under the couch it's painful
Litter box is still stained, shameful
Little brained individual not so minuscule
She's kind of a runt with a meticulous name
Born six-six-0-six gingery frame
Still a kitten at 8 years of age
"Lucy-Fur" to own her is like hell in a hand basket
A basket-filled with hell, hell-ridden
Hell-driven kitten until new water is given
Then she's quiet... Shh
Don't dare wake her I find solace in the silence
Finally I'm all alone
Gonna take a big dump on the couch
Roll around, chase the mouse
Hack it up in the sink, the kitty litter's starting to stink
That's right, I don't know if you're ever coming home
Now I found a big pile of your socks
Toilet paper, building blocks
Now I'm taking hits of (cat) nip and reality's starting to slip
That's right, I said reality's startin' to slip
That's right, I said reality's startin' to slip
Some cats are cray, listen up, dog lovers
If you've never owned a tabby you wouldn't understand
You think your dog's a handful?
Try living with with a feline whose paws resemble the upper-hand
You pick up poop and have to walk them
While I weekly scoop a litter-laid, defecated coffin
Sifting through the sediment, coughing
From the smell of my residence hesitant guests walk in
Breaths of ammonia suggest at the very least
That I'm a bad cat owner
Each step is so yuck
I become a paleontologist extracting stool-shaped donuts
Can't you tell the distinction
Between the fresh dog stink and the cat smell of extinction?
This petrified, cat pee has me
Wishing for a dog, not an adopted kitten
Finally I'm all alone
Gonna take a big dump on the couch
Roll around, chase the mouse
Hack it up in the sink, the kitty litter's starting to stink
That's right, I don't know if you're ever coming home
Now I found a big pile of your socks
Toilet paper, building blocks
Now I'm taking hits of (cat) nip and reality's starting to slip
That's right, I said reality's startin' to slip
That's right, I said reality's startin' to slip
Look, I love her to death
But she's one, untamed, stubborn son of a bitch
Never satisfied, all cunning and quick
Once I decide to go to work she starts running her lips, like
Pet me... RIGHT MEOW, Feed me... RIGHT MEOW
Don't tease me when the lights go out
Leave me be, wait, PET ME, No, no, DON'T TOUCH ME!
This mini-me can never make up her mind
Play, pet or lay around all lazy
Orange hairs cover my apartment
Igniting my allergies and making my vision hazy
It's kinda bullshit the way she plays me
Crying and whining, this misfit it crazy
My contemplation of this shit, lately
Have I adopted a cat or a human baby?
Finally I'm all alone
Gonna take a big dump on the couch
Roll around, chase the mouse
Hack it up in the sink, the kitty litter's starting to stink
That's right, I don't know if you're ever coming home
Now I found a big pile of your socks
Toilet paper, building blocks
Now I'm taking hits of (cat) nip and reality's starting to slip
That's right, I said reality's startin' to slip
That's right, I said reality's startin' to slip
Elusive, cute kitten when she wants to be
Yet she's awfully noisy on most mornings
While I'm brushing my teeth I'm yelling, get off of me!
There's a beauty in that beast yet it's hard to see it
Once she retreats under the couch it's painful
Litter box is still stained, shameful
Little brained individual not so minuscule
She's kind of a runt with a meticulous name
Born six-six-0-six gingery frame
Still a kitten at 8 years of age
"Lucy-Fur" to own her is like hell in a hand basket
A basket-filled with hell, hell-ridden
Hell-driven kitten until new water is given
Then she's quiet... Shh
Don't dare wake her I find solace in the silence
Finally I'm all alone
Gonna take a big dump on the couch
Roll around, chase the mouse
Hack it up in the sink, the kitty litter's starting to stink
That's right, I don't know if you're ever coming home
Now I found a big pile of your socks
Toilet paper, building blocks
Now I'm taking hits of (cat) nip and reality's starting to slip
That's right, I said reality's startin' to slip
That's right, I said reality's startin' to slip
Some cats are cray, listen up, dog lovers
If you've never owned a tabby you wouldn't understand
You think your dog's a handful?
Try living with with a feline whose paws resemble the upper-hand
You pick up poop and have to walk them
While I weekly scoop a litter-laid, defecated coffin
Sifting through the sediment, coughing
From the smell of my residence hesitant guests walk in
Breaths of ammonia suggest at the very least
That I'm a bad cat owner
Each step is so yuck
I become a paleontologist extracting stool-shaped donuts
Can't you tell the distinction
Between the fresh dog stink and the cat smell of extinction?
This petrified, cat pee has me
Wishing for a dog, not an adopted kitten
Finally I'm all alone
Gonna take a big dump on the couch
Roll around, chase the mouse
Hack it up in the sink, the kitty litter's starting to stink
That's right, I don't know if you're ever coming home
Now I found a big pile of your socks
Toilet paper, building blocks
Now I'm taking hits of (cat) nip and reality's starting to slip
That's right, I said reality's startin' to slip
That's right, I said reality's startin' to slip
Look, I love her to death
But she's one, untamed, stubborn son of a bitch
Never satisfied, all cunning and quick
Once I decide to go to work she starts running her lips, like
Pet me... RIGHT MEOW, Feed me... RIGHT MEOW
Don't tease me when the lights go out
Leave me be, wait, PET ME, No, no, DON'T TOUCH ME!
This mini-me can never make up her mind
Play, pet or lay around all lazy
Orange hairs cover my apartment
Igniting my allergies and making my vision hazy
It's kinda bullshit the way she plays me
Crying and whining, this misfit it crazy
My contemplation of this shit, lately
Have I adopted a cat or a human baby?
Finally I'm all alone
Gonna take a big dump on the couch
Roll around, chase the mouse
Hack it up in the sink, the kitty litter's starting to stink
That's right, I don't know if you're ever coming home
Now I found a big pile of your socks
Toilet paper, building blocks
Now I'm taking hits of (cat) nip and reality's starting to slip
That's right, I said reality's startin' to slip
That's right, I said reality's startin' to slip
Credits
Writer(s): Timothy Munson Stiles
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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