The Germans at the Spa

Chambermaids, everybody!
To the front! Come on
Clear the decks
Be alert
We'll clear the decks, we'll be alert

Fix your tie, fix your skirt
We'll fix our tie
And skirt

Be prepared to change a foreign
Coin
Deutschmarks
Francs, Kroner
Pfennigs
Shillings

You all know what to do
We all know what to do
They're on their way, you know who
They're on their way, we know who
Eins, zwei, drei
Vier, funf, sechs
Sieben, acht, neun

The Germans at the spa, the Germans at the spa
They'll soon be arriving here to spend
A lost weekend in Shangri-La
The Germans at the spa descend from German mounts
They've come to take the waters with the daughters of Italian counts
How we love to have the Germans at the spa
Carefully avoiding any slight faux pas
For the Germans at the spa
For the Germans at the spa
For the Germans alles must be perfect
The Germans are coming
The Germans are coming
Roll out the wienerscnitz, roll out the wienerscnitz
They'll soon be arriving, the spa will be thriving
They'll come, they'll sit, they'll schvitz
They'll come, they'll sit, they'll schvitz
Be sure there's lots of German music playing
Und was du tust in meinem brust
O mein geliebter, o meine herz, alle
Geliebter, und so weiter

Go mow the lawns
I'll mow the lawns

Go cool the beer
I'll cool the beer
Go shell the prawns
I'll shell the prawns
I think they're here
They're here

Ve're here, ve're here
The Germans at the spa, the Germans at the spa
We just got in a minute ago, 'cause
Germany is filled with snow
Together now hurrah for the Germans at the spa

Of anything they could have chosen
Why do they wear lederhosen?

How ve love to spielen at our favorite spa
Carefully avoiding all the French bourgeois
For the Germans at the spa, for the Germans at the spa
For the Germans alles must be German
The Germans are laughing, ve're all photographing
Ve click the hasselblad, ve click the Hasselblad
Und jetzt ve're unpacking
If nothing is lacking
Ve take a promenade, ve take a promenade
And vot's that lovely music I hear playing?
Und was do tust in meinem brust
O mein geliebter, o meine herz, alle
Geliebter, und so weiter

Just vunce a year I can romance
Beneath the dance of an Italian
Apricot moon

Und vunce a year I can be more than
Just another tycoon
Too soon this all shall pass

The Germans at the spa
Are eating halevah
And closing a deal for oil with
A noted Middle Eastern shah

Ve excercise by day
At night romantic play
I'm dancing with Isolde. When I
Hold 'er everything's okay

How we love to see the Germans at the spa
How ve love to be the Germans at the spa

For the Germans at the spa, for the
Germans at the spa
For the Germans Italy is heaven

Just vunce a year (The Germans are coming)
We have the chance to find romance (The Germans are coming)
Beneath the dance
Of an Italian apricot moon (Pull out the weinerschnitz)
Und vunce a year ve can be absolutely free (Pull out the weinerschnitzel)
As if ve're floating like a helium balloon (They'll come, they'll sit, they'll schvitz, they'll come, they'll sit, they'll schvitz)

Be sure there's lots of German music playing
How we love to have the Germans at the Spa! Spa! Spa! Spa!