Chip On My Shoulder

Woah, Elle, what's up doc?
Love
Excuse me?
I put my faith in love
I followed where it led
Love led you here?
To my personal circle of hell!
It has not worked out well
I wish that I were dead

'Cause instead of a wedding and love
I'm flunking out of school, a total laughingstock!
Someone, he and his friends can just mock
So, go on, here's my head, just hit it with a rock

Wait, go back
You came out here to follow a man?
Harvard Law was just part of that plan?
Man, what rich romantic planet are you from?
Malibu?
Instead of lying outside by the pool
You stalk some guy to an Ivy League school?
That's the weirdest reason I have-
Oh, why'd you come?

Okay, I grew up in the Roxbury slums
With my mom and a series of bums
Guys who showed me all the ways a man can fail
I got through law school by busting my ass
Worked two jobs, in addition to class
So, forgive me for not weeping at your tale

Oh, well, excuse me
Just because you've got some kind of chip on your shoulder
You know what? You're right

There's a chip on my shoulder and it's big as a boulder
With the chance I've been given, I'm gonna be driven as hell
I'm so close I can taste it, so, I'm not gonna waste it
Yeah, there's a chip on my shoulder, you might wanna get one as well

I'm sorry, but that sounds highly negative
Wait, two jobs plus law school? How do you do it?

Well, I don't go to parties a lot
Not good use of the time that I've got
Can't spend hours doin' my hair and stayin' in shape
I don't spend hours
But I know it'll all be worthwhile
When I win my first lucrative trial
And buy my mom that great big house out on the cape
Oh, that's so sweet

No, that's the chip on my shoulder
I hugged my mom and told her
With the chance I've been given, I'm gonna be driven as hell
Though I can't take the day off, I just think of the payoff
You need a chip on your shoulder
Little Miss Woods comma Elle

I just need to prove to everyone that I'm serious
What you need is to get to work
Where are your law books?
Um, well, I know they're here somewhere
You know, this vanity's real picturesque
But it started its life as a desk
Clear it off and find some room for books instead
What are you doing?

Can you live without this?
Can you live without that?
I don't know what this is
It's for hair
Wear a hat
Spend some time improving what's inside your head
Out, out, put it in storage, sell it on ebay, leave it behind
Out, out, what, are you angry? Good, so get angry

You may find the chip on your shoulder!
Ugh
Ooh, the room just got colder
Hey
But with the chance you've been given
Why are you not driven as hell?

There's just no way around it
You gotta plow through 'til you-
Found it
Been reading it hard, I can tell

'Tis a gift to be simple, 'tis a gift to be free (mm-mm, mm-mm)
Bye, Warner, have a great thanksgiving
Say, hi to your mom and dad for me
And Grandma Bootsie

Define, 'Malum prohibitum'
'Malum prohibitum' is um
An act prohibited by-
An act prohibited by law like jaywalking, or chewing gum in Singapore
Therefore, 'Malum in se'
Is an action that's evil in itself
Assault, murder, white shoes after Labor Day

Good, where are you going?
Home, of course, it's thanksgiving break, remember?
Interesting
What?

Well, I predict you will probably pass
Yes
In the bottom percent of your class
What?
If you're going for mediocre
You've done great
That's not fair

Look, they laughed at me like they're laughing at you
We can't win, if we don't follow through
Might I venture, your vacation plans can wait
Why do you always have to be right?

Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Gloria, in excelsis Deo

Bye, Warner, Merry Christmas, enjoy Bayo
Ho, ho, ho
Emmett
For you
Not as good as going home for Christmas, but
You are too sweet
It's a real time saver, shampoo and conditioner in one
Thank you, you are so adorable to think of me

Elle, hey
Warner
Have you seen Vivian?
I have been looking for her everywhere
Yeah, I, I mean no
Great, we're gonna miss our flight

Um, Elle? I don't know if you've noticed before
But each time Warner walks through the door
Your IQ goes down to 40, maybe less, uh
Though it's hardly my business to say
Could it be the real thing in your way
Is the very guy you're trying to impress?

Yes, I've been smiling and sweet
And thoroughly beaten, blowing my chance
Let's not chase him away
Let's face him and say, "Hey punk, let's dance"

This chip on my shoulder
Makes me smarter and bolder
No more whining or blaming
I am reclaiming my pride!
Grab that book and let's do this
Instead of doodling hearts all through this
Now there's a chip on my shoulder

Let's see him knock it aside
Ah, daughter of Delta Nu
Show him that you're no fool
Daughter of Delta Nu
Go back to school with a big chip on your shoulder

Mr. Ladimer was clearly within his rights to ask for visitation
Without his sperm, the child in question wouldn't exist
Now you're thinking like a lawyer
Yes, Miss Woods

Mr. Huntington makes an excellent point
But did the defendant keep a log
Of every sperm emission made throughout his life?
Interesting, why do you ask?

Well, unless the defendant attempted to contact every sexual encounter
To find out if a child resulted from those unions
He has no parental claim over this child whatsoever
Why now? Why this sperm?
I see your point

And by Mr. Huntington's standards
All masturbatory emissions where the sperm was clearly not seeking an egg
Would be called reckless abandonment
Miss Woods, you just won your case

(Oh, my god) wait, hold on, we just won the case
(Oh, my god) Elle got all up in Warner's face
(Oh, my god) I am starting to like this place
Yes, oh, my god

Miss Woods, excellent work today
I assume you're applying for my internship, do you have a resume?
I am one step ahead of you
Here you go and thanks in advance for your consideration
Dear God, it's scented
Three months ago, I would have recycled this
Make sure to put it on file

Guess, she got a chip on her shoulder
Maybe some wise man told her
With the chance we've been given
We gotta be driven as hell

She was something to see there
I'm just happy I could be there
First big test and she aced it
She's so close, she can taste it
She got a chip on her shoulder
Guess you never can tell-ell-ell

With little Miss Woods comma Elle
Elle Woods, Woods, comma, Elle (chip on her shoulder!)
Elle Woods, Woods, comma, Elle (chip on her shoulder!)
No, you never can tell (Elle Woods, Woods, comma, Elle, chip on her shoulder)
With little Miss Woods, comma, Elle