Crazy As a Loon

Back before I was a movie star
Straight off of the farm
I had a picture of another man's wife
Tattooed on my arm

With a pack of Camel cigarettes
In the sleeve of my T-shirt
I'm headin' out to Hollywood
Just to have my feelings hurt

That town will make you crazy
Just give it a little time
You'll be walking 'round in circles
Down at Hollywood and Vine

You'll be waitin' on a phone call
At the wrong end of a broom
Yes, that town'll make you crazy
Crazy as a loon

So, I headed down to Nashville
To become a country star
Every night you'd find me hangin'
At every honky-tonkin' bar

Pretty soon I met a woman
Pretty soon she done me wrong
Pretty soon my life got sadder
Than any country song

That town will make you crazy
Just give it a little time
You'll be walking 'round in circles
Lookin' for that country rhyme

You'll be waitin' on a phone call
At the wrong end of a broom
Yeah, that town'll make you crazy
Crazy as a loon

So, I gathered up my savvy
Bought myself a business suit
I headed up to New York City
Where a man can make some loot

I got hired Monday morning
Downsized that afternoon
Overcome with grief that evening
Now I'm crazy as a loon

So I'm up here in the North Woods
Just staring at a lake
Wondering just exactly how much
They think a man can take

I eat fish to pass the time away
'Neath this blue Canadian moon
This old world has made me crazy
Crazy as a loon

Lord, this world will make you crazy
Crazy as a loon