The Most Offensive Song Ever

Howdy Ho!
The Virgin Mary was sleeping
When Angel Gabriel appeared.
He said, "you are to be the virgin mother,"
And Mary thought that was weird.
[Mary said, "I'm not a virgin
I blew a guy last year"]
But then, Gabriel said to Mary,
"My child, have no fear:

("'Cause you can suck all the dick you want)
And still be a Virgin, Mary.
[You can suck all the dick you want,)
And still not be considered flawed.
(Though, Mary, you went to town,
and sucked some semen down)
You're still still a virgin
In the eyes of god!"

There was no room at the Inn
When Mary and Joseph did arrive.
They were so very tired, you see,
(and Mary had to offer him a bribe)
Said she had no money,
(and they had no place to sleep)
Gabriel appeared to Mary,
And told her not to weep.

(Cause you can suck all the dick you want)
And still be a Virgin, Mary.
(you can suck all the dick you want)
And still be the mother of Christ.
If there's no room at the Inn,
then it's not considered a sin

(to suck a dick to get a room for free!")

That's right.

And three wisemen did appear
Bearing gifts of myrrh and such.
They said that they had followed a star,
And missed a woman's touch.
[Mary thought that she might pleasure them,
But could not take them to bed.]
But, again, Gabriel appeared to her
And this is what he said...

("You can suck all the dick you want,)
And still be a Virgin, Mary.
(You can suck all the dick you want,)
Everyone in the nation.
(Fellatio ain't no sin,
So go and blow those three wise men!)
And you'll still be a virgin,
('Cause there ain't no penetration!")

(You can suck all the dick you want,)
And still be a Virgin, Mary!
(The donkey, or the ox and the lamb)
And even the little drummer boy.
Folks will remember your name quick!
(They'll say, "Damn, that bitch can suck a dick"!)
('Cause sucking dick)
Brings peace on earth and joy.
('Cause sucking dick)
Brings peace on earth and joy.

(Mary, you can suck my dick!)