Let's Act Like This Never Happened

Go fetch me great granddad's musket and sister's riding crop
We'll dig up the general's casket till someone makes us stop
Dead men tell no tales, they say, let's hope that that's true
Let's act like this never happened, just between us two

This old Chevy's carburetor isn't worth a crank
Strap it to our asshole neighbor, drop him the tank
Good fences make good neighbors, but good tanks work the best
Let's act like this never happened, let nature do the rest

There's a reason God made us a little different
Someone had keep the grading curve all nice and bent
Don't besmirch the family name with claims of class and dough,
We've worked hard to keep the expectations nice and low

Somebody wake Aunt Margaret,
Somebody kick the hound
Somebody turn the burners up
And turn the Philco down
'Cause nobody knows our secrets
Nobody knows our pain
Nobody knows what we've got buried
Out in the sugarcane

Follow highway 87, exit State Road J
Turn down Rural Route Eleven, that's our hideaway
Keep Out signs and barbed wire lines and shotguns on display
Don't act like you don't know what we do here anyway

There's a reason that the Board of Health keeps coming round
Always pounding 'DANGER – QUARANTINED' signs in the ground
Just because the public health inspector disappeared
Doesn't mean we tanned his hide and hung him by his beard
Necessarily

Go fetch me the cattle stunner off the killing floor
We'll have us an old time summer barbecue once more
Dead men tell no tales, they say, let's hope that that's true
Let's act like this never happened, like we always do
Let's act like this never happened, like we always do

Somebody wake Aunt Margaret,
Somebody kick the hound
Somebody turn the burners up
And turn the Philco down
'Cause nobody knows our secrets
Nobody knows our pain
Nobody knows what we've got buried
Under the outhouse drain