Diamonds

I can't tell how many times you lied
Can't tell you all the times I wanted to die
I try to make songs of hope
But how can I
When all I see is the pain and hurt
In my bones get worse
You shoulda never left
You left first
You flip it around
I ain't gonna bless a curse
Of the relationship
Just leave that hearse
What's worse?
Just seen' your wife
Just flip to the world
Becomes fake
Right in front of my eyes
How many tries?
How many times?
I'm getting sick of this, man
I gotta uncover my eyes
So many times I've lost so many fights
I gotta feel better
I feel like I'm dyin'
I'm done trying
Nobody cares no more
I guess I'm meant to be torn
Ever since I was born
I lost everybody
But I guess it don't matter cus I'm meant to be scorn
All the pain and hurt gets worse
All the troubles
How am I strugglin'
It makes me feel weak
I'm knocked to my knees
A whole other level
I'm beveling
I got so much hurt
And it's troubling
I can't get outta this hole
I'm slowly burying
Myself in hot coals
This ain't gonna leave very timely
Please God turn these coals to diamonds
I can't do this anymore
I can't do it alone
How many times have I tried
Learning how not to fight
Learning how to look another way
I'll say it
I know everything that happened in those days
I'm never the one to complain
But I've been played
Apparently
You wanted someone else for the longest time
And I
Was just there for a cheap ride
Well okay
Here we go
Yeah
Because the ride is over
I don't wanna say goodbye
That wasn't the intent
I wanted to work this relationship
I never wanted to abandon the ship
But you did for several months
I've trusted you
Way more the once
I don't wanna say
I've trusted too much
But look what happened
Now look what I'm battling
I'm trying to forgive
It's hard to forget
All I got are all these regrets
My pain can't just be put on a shelf
We're divorced now
But how do I fix my own health?
I'm tired of dealing with these cards that I've been dealt
I'm tired of runny myself
Into the ground
Right now I feel pretty weak
As I
Fall to my knees
I pray and ask God to cover my grief
I don't even know if he hears me
I'm hoping that one day I'll get to be happy
I gotta focus
On everything else
Just know this
My son saved your life
But I'm still broken
Of all these sleepless nights
My minds fight
I need a whole new minds eye
I'm so damaged
And I can't manage it
I'm like a kid that can't understand it
I just need God to take it and handle it
Handle it God...
Turn these coals to diamonds
All the pain and hurt gets worse
All the troubles
How am I strugglin'
It makes me feel weak
I'm knocked to my knees
A whole other level
I'm beveling
I got so much hurt
And it's troubling
I can't get outta this hole
I'm slowly burying
Myself in hot coals
This ain't gonna leave very timely
Please God turn these coals to diamonds
All the pain and hurt gets worse
All the troubles
How am I strugglin'
It makes me feel weak
I'm knocked to my knees
A whole other level
I'm beveling
I got so much hurt
And it's troubling
I can't get outta this hole
I'm slowly burying
Myself in hot coals
This ain't gonna leave very timely
Please God turn these coals to diamonds