October

Only person that I cared for just existed for a moment
An aura of light had seemed to warm me with atonement
Looked into this well to see if I was what they're missing
To find what they were missing a few metres down the line
That's why I liked it. I could never stand the brightness
At least not for too long, light would end up with me blinded
Only for a second, I could imagine its beauty
And how happy it would making love into my duty

Judy Garland once said that she could live without money
But she'd end up feeling bummy if she lived without love
Over 20 years in, I guess I'm feeling pretty tough
And I'm still living now but I'm just living kinda rough
Walking outside I see some light beneath your feet
And it might sound obscene but swear it shined towards me
For one minute, years ago when I was stranded in that well
I guess your feet lead to heaven while mine lead towards hell

Whether it's jumping in a lake or trying to rap with parents
Whether it's making music honouring the bands we cherish
Whether it's sitting in my bed with a million dumb regrets
And confessing that I'm not worthy of half the merits
Whether it's calling at the break of dawn to tell me you're fine
Or trains stopping so you have to take the 79
At the bottom of the barrel you can find me in apparel
That's been ripped and lookin feral but I'll get there in time

For the people that would tell me that I've got what it takes
For the times I yelled cut when it's all shot in one take
For the times I gave up and then got on with my day
For the hundred thousand words I couldn't solemnly say
Whether we could never make our minds about the same shit
Or know the drive back would need a quiet playlist yeah
I stumble through my struggles but I'm trying at least
I look forward to forgetting it all the next time we meet

I've been trying for so long
I guess one day I'll find myself
Gonna spend some time to know myself
It's easy when it's over
And it's easy when I'm sober
Guess they're playing games in July while I'm drinking in October