Throw Your Phone in the Ocean

Twenty thousand people on an island complaining 'bout Verizon
Shit, I think a tower's down
There's a kaleidoscope where the sea hits the horizon but they
Bangin' on appliances. Damn. I think the routers out
I need a signal. Gimme that password
Keep the spiel kid, thanks, didn't ask for it
At a bar on the beach at the office, still
Catch a fallin' sky and put in your pocket
Imma watch that shit go down
Imma gawk as aquarius hurls to the ground
While a lone star launches herself from cockpit
Hopin' that her parachute'll operate now
Wait. Bottle that moment. Hold up. Check that connection
Hey, swallow that mimosa and forget about your headaches
Hey, coddled ass grownups, skip the letter to the editor
These bottles in the ocean got a devastating message

Like, I hope that someone gets my reference
Or at least acknowledges the Effertz
Perhaps the doctors of our universal presence
Never stopped weigh the consequences of a broader connection

So if a cell phone tower on an island falls
Can't nobody make the call
Did it ever really happen at all

You throw your phone in the ocean
Yup, and then you're untethered
Throw your phone in the ocean
Yup, and then you feel better
Throw your phone in the ocean
Yup, and then it gets wetter
Throw your phone in the ocean
Don't call me in the morning like
Doctor
Don't fix my antennae
Throw ya phone in the ocean
Yup, and then you feel better
Throw your phone in the ocean
Yup, and then it gets wetter
Throw your phone in the ocean

Day 3: itch gone rash
Gotta get the chip beneath the skin to talk back
Whole island sick from detachment
Town wide melt down. The city just snaps
With no gifs they forget how to laugh
The P.O.S. down and nobody brought cash
That means no tips for the staff
And they can't log overtime. The kitchen might crack next
They screamin' "Mutiny!" at Aldo's and the Manisses
I hear they started looting the Atlantic like a pack of thieves
The manager's like, Please I have a family
Tied to the mast of a burning ship sent back to the sea
Bar arguments are left unsettled
The only music playin' at Scotch comes from the pebbles
As they're combed by the foaming tide, climbing and resting
If you'd only close your eyes you could hear the sirens beckoning
It's angelic

Then we're happy with detachment for a moment
And everyone's relaxed enough to notice
The enchantment of our understated cumulative wholeness
A friend without a profile
A web without a modem

But then the tower pulls itself up by the motors
And brushes the the bluff crumbs from its unworthy shoulders
And we all resume our voluntary torment
Hurry! Drown your fuckin' phone like an informant

You throw your phone in the ocean
Yup, and then you're untethered
Throw your phone in the ocean
Yup, and then you feel better
Throw your phone in the ocean
Yup, and then it gets wetter
Throw your phone in the ocean
Don't call me in the morning like
Doctor
Don't fix my antennae
Throw ya phone in the ocean
Yup, and then you feel better
Throw your phone in the ocean
Yup, and then it gets wetter
Throw your phone in the ocean

Doctor
Throw your iPhone in the ocean
Doctor
Throw your Google Pixel in the ocean
Doctor
Throw your Samsung in the ocean