Problematic

(Naw, y'all don't understand. It's Swell Rhymes in this motherfucker)
For as long as I remember I've been insecure
Dropping out conversations like I don't understand this procedure
I fucking hate myself like there is no cure
Lately my actions haven't been too pure
Real recognize real, I'm not ideal
This simulation isn't real, I don't appeal fo' real
I don't feel like being present
there's just be too much that I resent
I feel like my whole mind is all rented by evil
I really wish I could forget those people
I try to lose myself in others
But nobody bothers to lose their sanity
My whole fucking life a calamity
Why don't you wanna scream it with me
I haven't been the same since I crossed paths with Mai Misery
Why couldn't this have been more easy
I often feel misjudged
Like they trying break my mirage
Just poking for a cause
Send me away to mars
So I shoot for the stars
And I write these bars
These waves I'm tryna bend
Question if anyone even comprehends
The message I'm tryna stem in these compositions
Fear they'll always question the representation
Even if I make this song amazing
But really don't want to be no sensation
There's just some souls that I strive to stay saving
Maybe wanna hit the stage and start dancing
I wonder if it'll be to my own beat
Or they gonna know the words like they been keeping this shit on repeat
For now stay walking down the street
Yelling these words like if you haven't already heard

I'm problematic
My whole life anticlimactic
I'm problematic
My story tragic
I'm problematic
I don't believe it
I'm problematic
In a world that's so systematic

(Check it)
I've been through a lot of shit in my life
Still keep moving despite all the challenges I face
They judging so shallow from the smile on my face
I hide behind my shadows so call me fake and if that's the case
Give me a peace of mind, and I'll show you mine
With these constant thoughts of suicide you'd question how I'm still alive
I never thought I'd go back to therapy
But this time I won't do it for her I'll do it for me
Cuz through this depression, writing has been my only form of expression
They hated the confession
Thanks for that lesson
I feared the judgement
Like telling her I loved her tripping on acid
Right now I just need to vent
I'm too afraid too admit that I'm chronically depressed
No joking, no kidding but lately I've been under a lot of stress
Step inside my shoes to find the perfect mess
For a moment I'll feel better
But my mood changing than this Reno weather
I told my therapist everything that was in my head
Instead of taking meds she said take deep breaths
You got these big dreams ain't done shit yet
What's so scary about taking those first steps
You put so much blame on your name
Picture that kid from the past and tell him it's his fault
What's there left to gain
Don't you feel ashamed
How can you do that man
That's when I realized it's time to hit the vault
Time to reinvent, time to recollect
Time to say the shit that I really meant
Used to say if Nas illmatic then Swelly problematic
But realized whole fucking world dealing with post traumatic