The Pros and Cons of Dating Me
loneliness rules the night
it's even eclipsed my depression for a while
so now I'm struggling to write
some positive things about me in a profile
but I know no one could ever love me
'cause I'm short and I am old
and I am bald, fat, and ugly
every year I'm another year older
a year less hair and another year fat
if I could possible get any uglier
best believe I'd be a whole year more that
but I feel I must be a fair reporter
so put this in the pro column
'cause I am not getting any shorter
my nose is too big, my legs are too short
all my problem areas have been upgraded to trouble
my physical examine is a failure report
my eyebrows are uni and my chin is double
I'm not a handsome man, anyone can see this
the only good thing I can say for myself is
I have a very normal penis
I don't mean to be so superficial
believe me I'm just as ugly on the inside
trying to keep my thinking wishful
but I can't even get the spambots to swipe right
if love is a game, I am retired
'cause I've been alone so long
all my condoms have expired
all my relationships start from pity
and seem to go well until she suddenly ends it
and every time it's a big surprise to me
'cause what I call love others call codependence
I guess I'll just go and die alone
'cause these were just some of the cons
and now here are the pros
it's even eclipsed my depression for a while
so now I'm struggling to write
some positive things about me in a profile
but I know no one could ever love me
'cause I'm short and I am old
and I am bald, fat, and ugly
every year I'm another year older
a year less hair and another year fat
if I could possible get any uglier
best believe I'd be a whole year more that
but I feel I must be a fair reporter
so put this in the pro column
'cause I am not getting any shorter
my nose is too big, my legs are too short
all my problem areas have been upgraded to trouble
my physical examine is a failure report
my eyebrows are uni and my chin is double
I'm not a handsome man, anyone can see this
the only good thing I can say for myself is
I have a very normal penis
I don't mean to be so superficial
believe me I'm just as ugly on the inside
trying to keep my thinking wishful
but I can't even get the spambots to swipe right
if love is a game, I am retired
'cause I've been alone so long
all my condoms have expired
all my relationships start from pity
and seem to go well until she suddenly ends it
and every time it's a big surprise to me
'cause what I call love others call codependence
I guess I'll just go and die alone
'cause these were just some of the cons
and now here are the pros
Credits
Writer(s): Philip Simondet
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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