Christmas Day

I'm in a bed
Am I dead?
I wasn't sure if i'd wake up
Thought it was the end
Thank you my friend
Thank you spirits, thank you Jacob
Jake, I'd kiss you if I could
The night is over, knock on wood
It feels so 'effin good to be alive
I feel like a baby boy
I've never felt so drunk with joy
I've never felt such joy to still have time

And Scrooge laughs the kind of laugh
That can wash away years of sadness
A huge laugh, an impressive laugh
For someone so out of practice
Hey, boy on the street
Mister, what you want with me?
Please don't run away
Just tell me what's today
What's today?

Why it's Christmas Day, Christmas Day
For heaven's sake, it's Christmas Day
Christmas Day, I'm not too late
Hey! Here's some cash, run to the shop
And buy the best looking turkey they got
The biggest and the fattest
Then send it to Bob Cratchit
I can't carry that, it's freaking huge
Good point
Here's more cash to cab it
Just don't say that it's from Scrooge
Let's make Bob's day on Christmas Day
Woohoo!

So Scrooge is shaving
But he can't stop shaking
He cuts his face in eighty places
But he doesn't mind it
He's too excited
Running outside to see the neighbors' faces
Shouting Merry Christmas to everyone
And getting some funny looks from some
And just by chance, he sees the donation man
My good sir, hope I'm not too late
Sorry I was an ingrate yesterday
But I wanna donate today if I still can

And Scrooge gives such a massive gift
It includes years and years of back pay
A huge gift, such a generous gift
That it very nearly makes the man faint
Thank you sir, please visit me
Ha, will do Scrooge, certainly
So happy to have met you
But I must run now to my nephew's

For Christmas Day, Christmas Day
There's a party at his place, so I can't delay
Christmas Day, Christmas Day
Okay!

Scrooge gets to Fred's place and stands outside the door
Suddenly much more nervous than before
When Fred opens the door, Scrooge wants to run away
Not sure what to say

It's your Uncle Scrooge
I've been a fool
I don't wanna live as a stranger to you
Can you forgive a dumb old man?
Listen man, of course I can

Christmas electricity brought you here to me today
Christmas electricity is here
I think you're right
Christmas electricity, Christmas electricity
Christmas electricity all night

Scrooge and Fred and everyone party into the night
Scrooge never had so much fun in his entire life
Christmas electricity, Christmas electricity
The next morning, Scrooge hurries to get to work early
Christmas electricity
He hides the grin from his face (Christmas electricity)
When Bob comes in late

So let me get this straight
You skip work then come in late
Why don't you just rob me, Bobby
Or I'll give you a raise
Wait, what?
A raise, Bob, I said a raise
Sir, are you okay?
Never better
You're being crazy
No, Bob, you're priceless
Priceless
Merry Christmas

(Priceless) Scrooge was better
(Priceless) Than his word
(Priceless) He did it all and then some
(Priceless) Some folks laughed and
(Priceless) Called it absurd
(Priceless) But Scrooge just laughed along with them
(Priceless) Scrooge became
(Priceless) A better man
(Priceless) And like a second dad to Tiny Tim
(Priceless, priceless) So in our own past, present and future
(Priceless) We would do well to remember him

So when you're stuck saying "bah humbug"
When you're shutting life out
Think of how this Scrooge turned things around

The meanest man there ever was
Became the merriest man you ever found
The loveliest, the chummiest
Most generous, benevolent
The nicest neighbor, the smile maker
The friendliest senior, the best demeanor
No one's sweeter than Ebenezer
Scrooge