Late Night Thoughts

I been fiended and dreaming of a little peace now
Searching and wandering for a little sanity how
But they mad at me now
Dont give a fuck if they handed me down
Blaze to the sound but they never gonna be coming around
Pain is pleasure and pleasure is pain
When its got you fucked up all inside of your brain
Not really knowing if its making you sane or insane
Feeling socially distant like you wanna take a ride on the train
Out of town to place where youll never be bothered
Hot and bothered till you sit and listen to marauders
I'm an outkast chillin with some atliens
Alienating people with my music till i get some millions

So i can pay to keep the fucking stress away
Keep my family safe and move em up out the bay
Buy an island and thats where well retire and stay
And invite all my friends but at the end of the day
No one would follow me theyd think im just crazy
And i use to be hella lazy but now im just angry
Cus im working all the time for the prime rhyme
9 To five and then i work on the label and find
Ways to build my empire and make it to the top
Pray i never flop and get hit and stay dropped
But my soul is feeling weak and unable to manage
Unstable and i think ive taken to much damage

My girl says shes detached but it seems only from me
Wondering what the fuck i did so if youll just please
Talk to me cus i cant even talk to you
You made it so hard and its always been hard to get through
Cus i aint never been good about speaking on my emotions
Im the type to bottle it up until i have an ocean
Until it all explodes into fiery fits a rage
Or a depressive episode that sets with my age

If i'm lucky enough i can get it into words
Maybe spit on the mic and feel how it hurts
But then id probably cry in the booth until i o d on the verse
All the triumphs and yet it seems life is worse
Maybe to feel so strongly is my natural born curse
You wanna try and fix everything until you in a hurse
Forget about yourself so much you end up in the dirt
Life will pass you by when you see it thatll hurt

I've been abandoned back stabbed and lied too
Heartbroken addicted and the jesters fool
I've been ignorant and dumb down on my luck
I miss all the flowers cus these weeds fucking suck
Fuck i miss all my friends i use to see everyday
I miss all the people that fucking passed away
I even miss the friends that left me betrayed
Because of the good times we had until they
Had to do some fucked up shit and piss me off
And now im just feeling like everything is off
Because im not sure if im right or im lost
On this path i travel yo there must be a cost
Do i want it or not am i afraid or not
Will i find what i sought will i bloom or will i rot
Will i just rust and decay quit or delay
Will i ash in the tray roast and fillet