Backyard

They tell me I can rap till I'm finished
But why would I stop if I'm winning?
If I'm winning, how I know when I'm finished?
And if nobody winning with me, am I really in it
For the long run?
If you know someone put 'em up
If you know someone who ain't no one put 'em up
If ya hands in ya pockets, where you go put 'em up
If somebody got you blocked in they phone put 'em up
Put a light to the sky if you ever felt shy
Put a light to the sky if you made yourself cry
Put a light to the sky if you really wanna die
Put a light to the sky if you never wanna die

I been at it since a youngin in the backyard
Tryna act hard, just pretend that I am someone you can love
I been at it since a youngin in the lunchroom
Where we ate food, but we really try'na touch each others hearts
Freestyles in the Stu don't hit the same as they used to
Tryna get back to my roots in touch with who that I used to be
But I can't see, that it's right in front of me
Why should I be someone else when I can be like me?

Why should I have to cope with being someone that I'm not
Can we form another plot, and get back to the spot?
Where I was tryna confess to you bout how much I really cared
But backed out halfway through cause I got too scared
To open up ya feelings as a man, is a death wish
If they don't like you they can make you wish you was dead quick
Now I'm out here try'na find a new shawty to mess with
These new ones ain't the same as all the ones that I was pressed with
Back in my prime I was somebody that I liked
I'm sad to say that my prime was back in grade 5
When I couldn't care less bout how you felt about me
I could really be me
I could run carefree
Without the thought of some pressure or anxiety taking over me
And now I'm out in college try'na find out who I'm supposed to be
It ain't that easy, if I show you maybe you'll look
Aaid the chapter was ending, but it feel like a different book

I been at it since a youngin in the backyard
Tryna act hard, just pretend that I am someone you can love
I been at it since a youngin in the lunchroom
Where we ate food, but we really try'na touch each others hearts
Freestyles in the Stu don't hit the same as they used to
Tryna get back to my roots in touch with who that I used to be
But I can't see, that it's right in front of me
Why should I be someone else when I can be like me?

This rap thing might be more than I bargained for
Try'na get back in my awards
Maybe find what I'm looking for
Found it hard to get motivated to make an EP
Till I got out of the sheets and got back to looking at beats
Had to step out of my ego to make this track
And maybe find myself more vulnerable than when I'm looking back
At my old tracks they was all that, no cap
But the king stay up inside his head and that's facts
If I wanted to talk to you then I'd probably reach out
But I know that's a lie cause I cannot see how
I would go about starting off
What would I even say?
From the time that we started off
Feels like a couple days
I been stuck in a time loop try'na run through
Get down at a finish line where nobody knows
That I was ever anybody who I thought I'd look up to
I'm just tryna be bland and boring, what else can I become too?
Can me in the backyard have future he look up to?