KEH

Survival is insufficient, I'm trying to glisten but
Come to find I'm imprisoned by a divided existence
Admired admission, I don't aspire to be relatable
Satisfied in my ways while I tire of a human race of fools

A dispassionate pundit reporting with seemly detachment
The daily parade of lunacies that constitute the news
I refuse to be infused or be imbued with a tude that would
Allow me to construe this world as anything but a ruse

Prince Pred, I pen prose so impudent
Pack punch more powerful than the most prominent pugilist
Press play to purge a persona so pusillanimous and
Spit potent panoramas with extravagant animus

Proud parent of bold and arrogant fantasies
All standard to manage the terror of inadequacy
Pure agony established and masquerading as vanity
Most my niggas got families when I can barely handle me

So acclimated to dimming my light so I could
Fortify these walls and hide in plain sight but
The need to be liked is a dangerous plight
Solidifying your run from the fight to choose flight

Into the darkness and out of the light
It's straight from the bottle I imbibe with no chill
It's my right to conceal when this life gets too real so I will
Drink to my fill so I can (kill Evin Hill)

Intoxication was the prime directive to disconnect and
Perceive the essence of everything through lenses mad corrective
Unprotected as the walls I'd erected collapsed into a
Deceptive veil of effectiveness obscured by pure intentions

All needs provided and anxieties tranquilized, I'd
Vanquished my frightened side through dampening disguise
I can't override that which I am, but I can tarnish my
Temperament temporarily through liquid layers of artifice

Hard to exist when all I can recall is all the damage and
Then escape then the blackness I lather rinse and repeat it's just a
Face I put on to meet the faces I meet so when I
Fall on my face inevitably I won't taste the defeat, ah

Eventually tried to remedy the obscenity when it
Registered I hadn't made a new memory since 23
I chose different but the ghost stayed with me and on
Slopes so slippery, my control soon lifted

So acclimated to dimming my light so I could
Fortify these walls and hide in plain sight but
The need to be liked is a dangerous plight
Solidifying your run from the fight to choose flight

Into the darkness and out of the light
It's straight from the bottle I imbibe with no chill
It's my right to conceal when this life gets too real so I will
Drink to my fill so I can (kill Evin Hill)

So far away I'm sure I won't bounce back
My mind is now just a hell-scape with a dope soundtrack
Call me peak person unserious, habits so deleterious
Actual fits of fury emerge through frustrated teary eyes

Rap slick, insidious, talented from the giddy up
Fractured mentality manifests my image as hideous
Delirious with my yearning in search for something real
I'd rather suffer fear than worry bout how you fuckers feel

I don't do it for this listens or the homage
I do it cuz I'm dying inside and it's the only way I can process
So I'll always keep it honest from artist to arsonist
Gassing you up with knowledge so as to burn down your college

Eyes to the mirror as I seek to forgive, realizing
I've been too hard on myself and I just want to live
So with desire revealed and new psyche instilled I'll
Place this ink on my quill so I can (kill Evin Hill)

I remember damage
Then escape
Then adrift in a stranger's galaxy for a long time
I am at my best when escaping
But I'm safe now
I found it again
My home
I have found you nine times before
Maybe ten
And I will find you again
I feel this again for the first time
I have a job to do
And then you will ask
What is my job
Not to survive because survival is insufficient
I don't want to live the wrong life and then die
You know your endpoint when you reach it
But I have a job to do
I still
Have a job to do