F.W.D

Flirting with death has always been
And still is an emotional experience
That I like to play with often
Even if it's just for a second

It's a feeling of casting away the numbness
With a hint of exhilaration
That leaves me curious
With the pistol under my chin
Knife on my skin
Car speedometer reaching its limit
Or from sitting on a pier
Contemplating to jump off of it
And getting consumed by the ocean
Because it's tempting
To see if there will ever be an alternate
Type of story ending
That'll eventually leave me to run out of breath
And lay pale and functionless on my death bed

But so far it has been nothing but redundant flirting
That has left me feeling desolate with these emotions
That are routinely filled with demons
Who are in a constant one-sided conversation
Of whether or not these decisions
Will put me in a position
Where my fate will be temporary or permanent