Feel Your Acts

There was this gate
Into my persecution
Built of curiosity
Now it's built of nothing

It was never about finding a way
But the current state of mind

You'd like to fall
You want it
Aside
There's not much left to be part of
And the cause is meant to rest inside

Close to find out
I brought this on myself

Whatever it is I feel, it needs to go away
It'd be so easy to cope with
But it clearly wants to stay

Pathetic
Conflicting
So why do I have the need to care?

It's always the struggle
Then the thoughts
Followed by an accident

Because of you I feel worse
And also know it could be better

Pathetic
Conflicting
At the same time
With the best and the worst purpose
Reflected in my behavior

That's why I hoped you'd go for a walk
But you're still here waiting by my side

It's the jiff, the instant
That keeps me going and makes me hate you
Should I just wait then?
Take a rest?
When all there is is time...