Thrills

Is there something that waits for me?
Is there something I'll regret to see when I'm older and I'll have to recede
Into the background

And how much time will I still be around?
Not as a person but as what I've done in my life

The opportunity is in the air
There's still so much of that
And I gave up already

I enjoy things sometimes
Even my life sometimes
But I see
What my life could be like

I could have a thousand faces
For me it's the way to know myself better
Or at least to feel better in the company around

Then the time comes around and I see
What I'm looooosiiiiing
At one point it never gets different and I die
With so many questions left on my mind

When does life really end?
Is it after death or is it way sooner?

I know I can only see the negatives
But what if it never gets better?

I hate myself for the things I haven't done
But do they really matter?

Will I have the guts to do them though?
Will I?
Ever?

I guess I'll do them later

But what about the things I HAVE done?
Will I mend them later?

After all this comes the time
When people will stop talking to me seriously
And I won't have a chance to change it back anymore

Despair
You're getting old

The opportunity is in the air
There's still so much of that
And I gave up already

I enjoy things sometimes
Even my life sometimes
But I see
What my life could be like

Sometimes
I just can't get over my sadness

Sometimes I hate the others
Even though they are my friends

I don't really wanna end up like this
Fighting reconciliation with fabricated happiness

I know I'm not empty
But I'm scared to look inside