The Bidet Song - Live at Smith's Alternative, Canberra, 2021

I went to Asia
For a week or two
When I go travelling
There's things I like to do
I like to try things new
And sample the street food
And test out the loo
In my hotel room

And for the first time
I'm sittin' on a bidet
With that water jet spray
Shootin' up my bum
And for the first time
I'm sittin' on a bidet
With that water jet spray
Who knew it would be such fun?

I sat there on the toilet
It had an extra tap
Connected to a jet stream
To wash away the crap
I thought that I would try it
I didn't know what to expect
I turned the tap, and oh my God
It had a profound effect

And for the first time
I'm sittin' on a bidet
With that water jet spray
Shootin' up my bum
And for the first time
I'm sittin' on a bidet
With that water jet spray
Who knew it would be such fun?

And if you can't find me
And I won't answer the phone
If I don't show up
And I can't be found at home
I suggest your best bet
Is to search my hotel suite
I'm probably having too much fun
On the toilet seat

And for the first time
I'm sittin' on a bidet
With that water jet spray
Shootin' up my bum
And for the first time
I'm sittin' on a bidet
With that water jet spray
Who knew it would be such fun?

I thought that I would try it
I didn't know what to expect
I turned the tap, and oh my God
It had a profound effect