Lucky Me

Don't look at the bags under my eyes they all mean nothing
Tears hitting the ground my pupils feel like they erupting
I swear I'm not sad I'm just disappointed
That conversation with my family is the only thing I'm avoiding
Know I've been distant, just tryna figure out who I am, cuz
Lately I feel like a shitty excuse of a man cuz
Pessimist tryna make a shattered glass full
Tryna be an angel but the devils got quite of a hold
Give me a smile I don't care if its permanent
Don't care what I do to get it, just want to be hurting less
Little old me is getting hard to look at in the mirror
Maybe it's the liquor, nothings even seeming any clearer
I set out to be the best in everything I do
But my motivations slipping and my visions getting skewed
Everyone says they're proud of me but is that even true
I don't even know how the fuck Imma make it through
Lucky me, I felt like I have never done a thing
From music to clothing I wonder what the fuck I bring
I haven't wrote a song in so fucking long
Every time I write a word my ego does me wrong
Not good enough that's what I always tell myself
Pockets ain't fat enough, that's what I call mental wealth
Only thing to fill the void is mountains of bills
If the money don't fill it I know something else will
Thinking of old days just to cope with it all
Need a break from bottles that ain't fucking helping at all
If I collapse right now won't be that hard of a fall
Done waiting on opportunity but lemme know if it call
Thinking of old days just to cope with it all
Need a break from bottles that ain't fucking helping at all
If I collapse right now won't be that hard of a fall
Done waiting on opportunity but lemme know if it call

Woke up this morning, found out you were gone
Thought I was still dreaming just waiting for the alarm
Looking all the messages spamming on my phone
Taking all the news in I sat there as still as stone
This isn't real, I know it ain't
This is some kind of joke right, all of this is fake
I guess I feel guilty cause I haven't visited in a while
Hard to make time for family or even hit that dial
To be honest our views just seem to clash
We had different takes on politics and class
Afraid anything I say taken as offense
So instead of confrontation I saw yall less
Can't even recall when we last spoke
Don't remember if we hugged or not or if we even joked
Regret fill my lungs until I fucking choke
This pain that I'm feeling be more cancerous than smoke
Thinking of old days just to cope with it all
Need a break from bottles that ain't fucking helping at all
If I collapse right now won't be that hard of a fall
Done waiting on opportunity but lemme know if it call

Lucky Me