In My Thoughts

Look
This shit gets hard for me to understand
So I keep pushin
Can't explain what I been feeling
I just pray that I keep lookin
For the right path
But now the devil on my line
Been tryna hit decline
I pray to God I get what's mine

Please don't act like you know me
Cuz you and I are not the same
I been feelin real lonely
But I'm like who's the one to blame
There's hella people around me
Just got a lot up on my brain
Need novacaine
To numb this pain
Feel like rod wave
Been feelin strange
Might go insane

Man I'm still screaming who the best
Some shit I won't put to rest
But this shit hard when you a mess
It got you thinking that you less
Than what you really are
But just try and remember
That you could take this shit really far
Uh

Made in the image of God
But I been goin off the rails
I guess I'm just a facade
Cant go broke or sell my soul
Plus I can't just work a job
It's hard when you know your great
But also feel like a fraud

I said look me in the eyes you see the demons inside
But now you look into my eyes and You can see my demise
Cuz now I'm so afraid to fail
My eyes ain't been on the prize
So I just pray that I'm gone get it
And keep up stride for stride

I'm like father take control
I got some dreams to fulfill
But I must ask to let me know
If this ain't been in your will
I know I prayed about that show
And then got booked that's foreal
But it's still hard to know
If these the shoes that I needa fill

And All this weight up on my shoulders
Gettin heavy to hold
Been losing friends
And now my heart been gettin colder than cold
I just pray I stay the same
Guve back the love that I get
Imma lover not a fighter
But you get back what you give

That's what I feel
I'm not the one to lie bout my life
What you hearing in these songs
Aint just some shit that I write
I bring my pain and all my problems
From the dark to the light
That's why I never gave a fuck
About what anyone liked

I hope that doesn't take away
From all this art that I made
And adds value to my words
And pain I put on display
Cyz when you making songs like this
Its not to get all the fame
It's just to get out what I need
The shit that's keepin me sane
We not the same

Mama I'm so sorry for the pain that I brought
And I know It hurt my dad
From all those times I was caught
I told my sister that I got her for as long as she walks
And now you hearing all the reasons
Tor this hunger I got

I can't stop
God damn it I can't even get sleep
I been aimin for the top
Aint see what's under my feet
All them demons I ain't beat
And tried to bury them deep
They done rose up out ground
And now they ready to feast

But lemme paint the picture
For the ones in the back
Ever since like seventh grade
Is when my demons attacked
Felt like they had me in a chokehold
I couldn't even fight back
Now I'm lookin at my scars
I guess I'm glad where im at

Thats why I pray for all my brothers
And the battles they fight
This shit get scary
When you brother wanna take his own life
It's hard to show the bigger picture
When shit ain't goin right
But that's the soldier, thats the G
You gotta bring out to light
Man that's real
It's so real