Lost My Truck

You know what it feels like?
To lose something so precious to you
That you feel like a part of yourself has died?

Well let me tell you the story, The Story of Bessie the Babe

Lost my Tractor in the pasture
Told my pastor, he gon' ask God
So I can find her faster

Little did I know of the disaster
Of that lil' fast herd
That took away Bessie the Tractor

On that day
I was shovelin' hay
Yeehaw

Didn't hear those bastards
Who took her away
Hip Hip (Get him Uncle Ben)

I'll be damned if I stayed
So I grabbed my pitchfork and blaster
Rounded up the Bois so we could go git up and
And lasso her (Yeehaw)

So I went to the valley
And past the gallows
Where they hung my uncle
Gone with the wind I suppose

He was a damn Yankee
God could surely tell
Told me fucking my cousin
Would send me straight to hell

I asked the bartender
If she had saw my truck
She saw it get used in
A Spaghetti Western fuck

13 Naked cowboys
Had seen her in the field
Too busy with each other
To tell me how she keeled

I pulled up my boots And my suspenders
I thought about them fender benders
ATV stuck in the red mud
Paint my flag red with your blood

You know I could never get that gas
As a follower of Jesus, I've had to pass
White privileged yet I don't have my tractor, I miss that beautiful lass

After many days of searching the three banditos had failed
Bessie was still lost and it was looking grim
Till' one of them said

I lost my tractor in the pasture
I'm gon git Imma gonna git those bastards
We gon fight till the break of dawn
I don't give a shit if I have to kill a fawn

I'll rip n tear until it's done
I don't care I'll just get every single one
We gonna pop a beer and a cup for Joe
We're gon' lock and load
Sit the fuck down do what you're told

Beer and American flags are all that I see
Bad bitch sucking my homies dick I wish that was me
I'm churning this butter I'm churning in my pants (Yeah)
I see Bessie cumming, I'm coming as fast as I can

Sex with my daughter, my sister, my father
My mother doesn't know what to say
I'll be saying cattywampus while my ass is in the hay

Fucked my cousin all up in Alabama
Shoved my dick forcefully into a llama
Had my sister screaming like no Onii-Sama
I pulled out and came on all over her pajamas

It's getting pretty late time to go eat some din
Can't finish my meal throw it in the trash bin
I'll wash down the food with some really good gin
And then I get drunk and fuck all of my kin

Go for a ride it's pretty nifty in the all-in-new Ford F-150
Take a swerve it's pretty drifty in the all-in-new Ford F-150
I'm wrapping this hoe around the big curb
I got a big dick just like my man Ferb
Pull out my 8-gauge and shoot up a bird
Empty my bowls and lay a fat turd

It had turned out That Bessie the babe Had cheated With another tractor
Having nowhere to go, the banditos had to settle this.
And they started to tie their loose ends

I lost my tractor to a tractor
I'm gonna get imma gonna get that bastard
We gon fight till the break of dawn
Blood and oil spilled all over the lawn

After I won I told her how dare you lie
I smacked Bessie right upside
Over under her sunny side
I grabbed the exhaust and fucked it good
My dick harder than wood blasted her ass and popped open the hood