It's Time

I've been waiting for so many years to hear your voice again
Little did I know how much it would hurt me, I'm feeling lost again
To begin
I didn't ever really understand why it was
You gave up
You did drugs
Was it me? Was it them?
Was it that you didn't want to feel again?
Well, it's time that you grew up
Learn what it means to show love
Don't expect to come back into this life
And assume that everything's alright
It's not
I spent all of my years pretending
I'm healthy
That there's nothing wrong with me
Only to have those walls come crashing down
And I will drown
In silence
This violence
I keep bottled up inside it's
Getting harder to keep the lid closed
I think it's time to unload
Everything that I keep inside
The back of the car I drive
And I've realized
It's time

For me to understand I won't get the answers that I want
It's hard for me to let you back into my heart
I just need to make sure I won't be hurt once again
It's time you show me how you will be well again

I'm getting tired of always staying up every single night just to find that I'm losing sleep
Thinking about all of the things that I've gone through and what it is that you mean to me
Wondering if it was all a dream and if I'm still in it will somebody please
Wake me up?
I'm tired of feeling like I'm numb
I'm tired of feeling like I'm drunk
Like I've got all of these empty bottles spread around me
Wine or whiskey?
See I could be just like you
Back in the days when you'd choose to
Put me to the side like I'm not worth you
What am I to do with that?
I just couldn't understand
Why you wouldn't grab my hand
And pull me up so I don't have to get buried under all this sand
Yeah, well, "Why don't you just grow up and become a man?!"
Well I guess if that is how you feel
Then I'll cut my losses and make you a deal
Leave so I don't have to go back to that
Feeling that I got to hold you up
As you go again to fill your cup
Just so you could feel the rush
Of letting go and holing up
Inside of your mind
Does it feel safe inside?
It's time

For me to understand I won't get the answers that I want
It's hard for me to let you back into my heart
I just need to make sure I won't be hurt once again
It's time you show me how you will be well again

Now I hope that you're still listening to this
There's just a few things that I missed
Like how a lot of the things that I struggle with
I struggle with because you showed me it's
Normal to do
Drink before the Sun hits noon
But I still won't do
Half of the things that I know you did
I won't ever put someone through abandonment
I'll stay by their side, loyal until I die
I couldn't ever be the guy who would give up and say bye
Just because I couldn't change my ways, no mistake
I will always find a way to push through
Anything that I know I'm going through
No one else should have to deal with
All of this hurt that I feel it's
Debilitating
So degrading
Always making
Some snide remark
That I don't deserve to be happy
It's astounding
My heart is pounding
And I can't catch my breath
Until there's nothing left
But despite it all
You'll get another shot
When I feel that I'm ready
I just need you to show me
It's time

For me to understand I won't get the answers that I want
It's hard for me to let you back into my heart
I just need to make sure I won't be hurt once again
It's time you show me how you will be well again