Hereditary

They say the fruit doesn't fall far from the root
Every time I look in the mirror I see you
I see your past and I see where you grew
Growing up I wanna be like you
Though y'all's relationship caused me pain
I still appreciate what y'all do
But I just pray that I learn from Y'all's mistakes and my kids don't feel ashamed
Because I'm just like you

They say fruit never falls far from the root
Except you tagging along as the winds pass through
Or my pen passing through spilling ink the page
Reminiscing on them days when soul was enraged
Ben's death hit me hard but I couldn't express it
Pushed it down put on a front that then turned to depression
Had to guide my little brother while I was filled with aggression
Mother was more neglecting dad was working overtime
Checking his back hoping his past don't come into view
Staying out late hoping the cash will get us through
What a fool we were thinking money was the problem
Maybe the fact we couldn't love was the need for caution

They say the fruit doesn't fall far from the root
Every time I look in the mirror I see you
I see your past and I see where you grew
Growing up I wanna be like you
Though y'all's relationship caused me pain
I still appreciate what y'all do
But I just pray that I learn from Y'all's mistakes and my kids don't feel ashamed
Because I'm just like you

They say the fruit doesn't fall far from the root
And I just hope I don't manifest all my problems to my seed
I know it's my choice but your the only thing I've seen
I struggle loving myself so it's hard to say what I mean
But that don't mean that I don't appreciate you enough
To where I would lay my life down if it meant you would thrive
In a world where everybody's else's dreams seem to die
I want you to be the one that would be the outlier
Cuz when you grow into your genes you'll probably see my face
And if that's the case then I hope your eyes dilate
In lamas terms I just hope you love what you see
When you look in the mirror no matter what insecurity
you have at the moment
I'm passing down all my poems
I'm packing bags and hoping I can sail away from my problems
I hope these reach you when I'm older and you finally arrive
And your eyes don't have to see this cycle repeat in your life

To me it's been harder I think to be a good husband than a good father
And for a long time in the earlier part of me and your momma marriage
I didn't have a lot of patience with her
And I came into that relationship
With you know kind of unrealistic explanations
You know I wanted her to at least
You know be as good as mother was for you know
As far as being emotionally but
You know she carried so much baggage into our relationship
It's was particularly easy for her too either