Lying Awake

Hundreds of sleepless nights
Thinking of you
Me imagining conversations where we look at the view
It's like
I'm trying to think of something better to say
Something enticing
Something that'll change your mind, make you stay
So please
Reserve your grievances
After I leave
You can tell if there's a difference between the old and the new me
Know things have changed
You never left me the same
But I just wanted to say
I'm okay

Made bad decisions, now I'm paying the price
Look into your eyes and I can tell that you realize that
You might have done the same
Your words got me feeling like I'm pocket change
I feel so out of place
You kept me under your control
You kept me under your thumb
I swear it hits different
Yeah, that shit makes me feel dumb
It's not the type of situation I would rush into
Next thing, you're gonna tell me that you're Russian too
It's a reminder I should keep to myself
Keep my heart in my pocket and away from this love, 'cause
It did more damage than depression ever could
If I could run it back, I don't think I would
And now I'm starting to feel like it wasn't worth it
But now it's too late
There's nothing I can do about it
Just sit and cry
Sit and think
Sit and write
Hoping that you come pick up the line
Hello?

I'm running out of options
Running out of lines
Running out of second chances
Running out of time
Second guessing every message
I've been stressing when we're texting
Checking if the last one got delivered
It's clear I need a distraction
Need an escape
From this perilous paranoia
Need something that will take my mind right off ya
I need to be transformed
Need to stop needing you
Yeah, take a left on this road so we can see the view
And I could see since March, you never felt the same
Hoping that these lyrics will change the settings inside your brain
Take me from last priority right up to first
It's taking everything inside me not to say I'm cursed
Deep down inside I still feel this could work
Maybe I just need a new approach
Maybe I need to change tactics
Maybe I should go sit down and practice
Feels like I'm getting better at this
Watch this

{This kinda slaps though}
{Damn}