The Pasture

I could speak about the past for a long time
I could reminisce and hash it out but I don't have to
Every time I do it always puts me in a bad mood
The scars on my past like a tattoo
The smears on my windshield spinning through my head like a windmill
Praying for a time when I can sit still
In the moment
I cannot hold shit but a grudge on myself for the things I emboldened
Man it's so hard to try and live it in the present when it's just so cold
I could dip out grieving or I could seek closure
Which one should I choose when there's pressure on me and it's just sitting there posing
Which one is lesser of the two evils
I got two easels and I can take any time composing
Which one's better for composure
Which one gets more emotive
I'm just a young man raised with the fucking Oklahomans
The dark red soil I was potted and grown in
Worldview widened over oceans
Contrasted by the pasture I was thrown in
Lambasted by the thoughts so intrusive
Asking if, based on my past do I really think i'm qualified to do this
I guess it's true shit, never was committed, just obtuse
I rebuke it
If you followed me so far, guess you know I spend a lot of time losing
And the rooftop view looking higher as I do
Hard to figure out what's true when the plan just leads to contusions
When the life that you lead feels abusive to you and the people involved
I am the poster child for being self involved
For being selfish I got a lead on them all but

Man you gotta forgive yourself sometime
The scars don't predict the wealth
I'm not lying
The holes in the plot, it could all remix itself
It's all just a glimpse of self
You gotta forgive yourself sometime
The scars don't predict the wealth
I'm not lying
The holes in the plot, it could all remix itself
It's all just a glimpse of self
Sometimes